Confessions Of A Depressed And Anxious Mind, A Poem

Shrinking, sinking, falling down
Reaching bottom – it’s been found
Swirling thoughts are a constant in my head
Only pen to paper makes them dead
As if to hide, no desire to be found
This is how they keep me – silenced and bound
Stay small, be quiet, try to hide
The pain, the fear, that it’s empty inside
If you can’t express it, tell how you feel
It will eat you alive – but no one believes it is real
The world upside down, or just confusing to me
Makes me angry and anxious – not who I wanted to be
I’m not strong enough – not self-assured
Defeated and wrong and can’t say a word
I carry the fault for what I’ve become
For my falling apart and coming undone
Destruction at play, waging war for my soul
I’m losing this battle – days taking their toll
My pieces are missing or broken it seems
Wake me up from this place – there is hell in my dreams
The solution, they say, are these pills by my side
But they don’t understand, it’s just –
Here
take this
swallow it down
let it ride
Desperate and seeking, needing relief
I’m quickly resigning to a different belief
Days will come,
They will begin and then end
The rest is a dream –
A broken soul’s pretend.