We’ve all been there. You met this intriguing person. You enjoy their company and are overwhelmed with the exciting potential of what could be, and then bam, something hits you: the overwhelming urge to flee. To run as far away as you can. You want to run because that little voice inside your head is flaming your irrational fears and self-sabotaging patterns you have been exercising for years but have yet to address. You push them away for reasons that in reality have nothing to do with your feelings toward them. Deep down, you actually like them.
You immediately start inventing reasons in your head why you shouldn’t be with this person: It will never work. They aren’t interested in me. I am so broken. They are way out of my league. Blah, blah, blah—all the negative self-talk we utilize on our worst days. This resistance is comfortable, and you have been doing it for a while to build an icy fortress as thick as The Great Wall around your heart. You may have been single for some time, you may have issues with trust after someone betrayed you, or had your heart shattered into a million pieces by someone you thought would never leave but left you broken.
You are afraid that someone will leave you—one of the most common fears of humanity. But it’s going to be okay. It’s okay to trust again, to let someone in. It’s okay to be cautious and trust your gut. You have to protect your heart, your body’s most precious muscle. But beware that by keeping out the bad, you are also keeping out the good.
One day you will look around and ask yourself, What am I truly running away from? Is it fair to the person who is trying to break down all of my walls? Remember in Bridesmaids when Annie rejects the adorable Irish cop after he gets her baking supplies the morning after they slept together? Yeah, she runs away, not only rejecting him but rejecting herself. Spoiler: thanks to Melissa McCarthy’s pep talk, she musters enough self-love to end her self-sabotaging patterns (and reunite with officer Rhoades.)
Life is so beautiful—a journey that’s meant to be shared with others. You shouldn’t have to walk the path alone. You deserve to be happy and to find that one person who will change your life for the better. I know you are scared—love is scary, but also magical. You deserved to be loved, you beautiful, kind, intelligent, brilliant, wild person. So let the love in. One day you will find someone who will chase you, even when you try to push them away.