To Those Who Think They Must Start Dating Right Away To Get Over An Ex

Maria Panayiotou
Maria Panayiotou

This is me telling you – don’t.

If you are still texting your ex and asking to meet up, then stop believing that you will move on by dating new people. You are holding on to a previous love.How would you ever be able to give a new person a proper, fair chance? Because we both know if your ex said he wanted to get back together, you would say yes in a heartbeat.

I wish I took my own advice sooner because I was still holding on to my ex and texting him telling him that I missed him when I first went on a date with someone new. My roommate told me that it would be a good idea and that I would learn that there are other people out there other than my ex. My date was a great guy – nice, charming, and sweet. But, he wasn’t my ex. The entire night I contemplated my previous relationship and how I wished my past lover was sitting across the table from me instead. Soon enough, I came home, and cried my eyes out. Not such a great way to end the night.

Maybe this is one example and maybe I can’t speak for everybody. But, in most cases, I know that there would be many who would convince themselves that they like the new individual they’re dating solely to get over their ex. And in my opinion that’s settling. It is only being in a relationship because you are terrified about the possibility of ending up alone.

Stop believing that an end to one relationship means that you will be single for eternity. It doesn’t.

Relationships can end for you to grow and change in order to be ready for a future relationship when the time is right. The previous relationship you were in allows you realize what you need to work on in order to be a good lover to someone else. I don’t think that happens overnight, especially if you’re still hoping for your ex to take you back one day. And I understand, it is so hard to let go. It is scary to know that the person who was once your everything will become a distant memory. It doesn’t mean that they weren’t once important to you. It just means that there one chapter in your life is over and soon someone better will come along and open the next.

But, you need to give yourself time in order to be able to fall in love genuinely again.

So, instead of believing that dating is the solution to your heartache, you should focus on yourself. Your goals, your ambitions, and your hobbies. Cut your ex off for good. Don’t go back to someone who will only give you maybe’s, someone you know can’t commit to you, and someone who lies and cheats. As you begin to let your ex go, the chances of starting a healthier, stronger, and more loving relationship will be greater. All you need is time. TC mark

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New York City Native. When I'm not studying to go into PA school, I enjoy drinking wine and binging on sushi. I hope my words will be able to impact those alike, knowing that they're never alone. Read more articles from Danielle on Thought Catalog.