A Love Letter To My Childhood Best Friend

I remember the first time we met. Your frizzy, curly hair was bouncing around as you’d run around and laugh. I was that lonely, chubby, loner girl, who never had many friends. I felt awkward and out of place, until I had the chance to befriend you. We were 9. I don’t know what it is about a 9 year old that draws one to another human being so quickly. How can someone so young and immature understand the meaning of a relationship? We were so innocent and carefree and all that mattered was giggling at the boy in choir who would pick his nose. All that I needed to be happy was you. 

For my 12th birthday, we bought matching bras. I remember when I felt flat-chested and you assured me that I was beautiful anyway. I was always the quiet one, shy to open up to new people. But you always introduced me like we were one. Eventually, you taught me that being timid should not be in my vocabulary. You insisted that people learn of my amazing personality, the one you came to love. And despite how weird I may have looked to our peers, you never cared. You believed in me and overlooked popularity. That’s when I first learned that our relationship was different than so many other best friends. We aimed to build each other up, not down. We never gave up. Above all, we had patience.

And then we became 16. We had gone through puberty and our bodies had changed. I lost my baby fat and got my braces off, while your frizzy curly hair no longer existed. You had straight, beautiful, brown locks and a heart of gold. You were still that same girl who would make me laugh at any occasion. The one I could tell anything to. But, as teenagers mature, we both desired intimacy and relationships with the opposite sex. Boys reeled in. They stole our hearts and we became foolish. When the boy with the gleaming blue eyes told you he loved you and lied, I ran to your doorstep with ice cream and chocolates, ready to hold you all night. And you returned the favor when he told me I was the one, yet he slept with another girl on my prom night. 

At 18, we just started college and wished to find ‘the one’ more than ever. We began to have our rocky moments. Another boy came into my life and I became blind. I let him manipulate me and that had a negative affect on our friendship. I kept secrets and lied because you never approved of this boy who was playing with my heart. You distanced yourself, but despite our problems, your guidance was always there. And after a solid year, he left my life, but you always remained. This same young adult reminded me of the twelve year old who stood by my side when others did not see the beauty in me.

Not everyone decides to stay in your life when there are tons of tears, snot, and throw up. Some run away when things go horribly wrong. They are afraid of facing reality. But you are rare. We will bicker and fight until we fix our problems. Maybe we’ll give each other the silent treatment, but in the end I know we’ll always find a way back to each other. I believe that we are connected. Like the stars and the moon, we allow each other to shine. I am not saying that we are incapable without each other, but when I know you’re around, everything falls so naturally. Because even when one door closes, I know that yours will always be open. I am yours, like you are mine.

Now here we are at 20, and my love for you will never fade. I will still be the first person who jumps off a bridge for you. I will carry every secret and every memory close to my heart. You are the one and the only who can read me like a book, while I will always know just the right things to do and say to bring a smile on your face. And maybe that’s enough. To always pick up where we left off and always make happy memories together. Besides, the bad ones are never remembered anyways. We may yell and fight; yet I know that’s only a sign to show that you are more than a best friend, but a sister. You are the best sister that I could ever have. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

featured image – Shutterstock

New York City Native. When I’m not studying to go into PA school, I enjoy drinking wine and binging on sushi. I hope my words will be able to impact those alike, knowing that they’re never alone.

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