It bothers me when people suggest that those with self-confidence issues are unable to find love because they are incapable of loving themselves. First, let me start off by saying loving yourself is not easy. There are so many people in the word who look at themselves every single day and are unable to live with their imperfections. I have come to terms with how difficult it is for so many to gain self-confidence. The other night, I spent time thinking about how much I had belittled and criticized myself throughout high school. I’d put myself down for my weight, the way I looked, and how I believed that I lacked intelligence.
But it’s not just teenagers who believe their self-worth is so miniscule. There are constantly people in our lives who are ridiculing us. We will always have those times where we will believe that there are others who will always be better. We will neglect our beauty and our competence. I know that we will always be struggling with it. We don’t live in a perfect world, and it is incredibly hard to come out of our own dark hole.
Society gives us this standard that we need to follow in order to be acceptable. If in some way we are outside of that territory, we start to question our self-worth. We try so hard to be this perfect image that everyone describes, and when we realize that it’s unattainable, we put ourselves down and critique ourselves so harshly. And maybe you see all of these horrible, nasty things about yourself, but someone else may look at you and believe the total opposite.
One of the greatest things about finding someone who sees all these wonderful aspects of you is for them to help you learn how to love yourself. Sometimes it’s the people who love us most who help us see the way when we can’t see them ourselves. That’s what love is about. Showing your significant other every single day that there will always be more and more things to love about you. Having someone show you that you are more beautiful than yourself could acknowledge helps you see the true, amazing side of yourself. In more cases than not, that person can bring you out of the darkness. They can reveal to you that despite your own obscurity you actually gleam radiance.
I understand that there are some individuals who can wake up one day and decide they are strong enough to build on their self-confidence. For others, they may never want to get out of bed without hating themselves, and sadly, this can last for years. Until one day, you run into someone who can make you see outside of your own thoughts about yourself. And that’s when you grow stronger. That’s when you begin to love yourself.