You are not an “if” and you certainly aren’t just a “maybe.” You are not someone else’s back-up plan.
Since the very beginning of time (or since self-help books were all the hype, at least), we have been told that men are from Mars and – yup, you guessed it – women are from Venus. We have been led to believe that, just maybe, we need a manual to decode each other’s behaviors. Does he smile a lot? Text you often? Follow you on all your social media accounts?
The signs point to “Yes! He’s probably interested!” if you’ll consult Dr. Google. And the thing is, a couple hundreds of articles exist, guaranteed to teach you “scientific ways to know if a person likes you or not” and “how to decode mixed signals.” It’s a free Relationships 101 course, courtesy of the internet and a lot of eager “love experts” to display just how much they know about love. But is love really a puzzle meant to be solved? Is it an abstract painting that has to be analyzed at every line and curve?
Greg Behrendt was on to something when he said not to give your heart to anyone who makes you wonder about his feelings for you. And I think that’s enough to replace all the babble, all the articles teaching you the how to “decode the meaning behind his messages” and “what his actions and what they truly mean.”
The sad fact is that a lot of people spend a lot of time analyzing and playing detective to what others really feel. Like an ancient hieroglyphic to be deciphered, the question “Does he like me?” is one of the things often asked (and Googled) by women. It has become such an elaborate mystery that knowing whether a person likes you or not becomes a montage of looking for “signs,” dissecting every little word they say, to search for hidden meanings that would hopefully reveal what he feels.
But you should never have to guess if someone likes you or not.
You should never have to be confused by mixed signals. Because if someone truly, genuinely likes you, it should be crystal clear. No need to consult Google or your friends or some ‘love expert’ to dissect the meaning behind a straightforward text or why he sent you a wink emoji. If someone really likes you, you would know it and you would be sure.
You don’t deserve someone who gives you subtle and barely-there “signs.” You don’t deserve someone who makes you wonder what you are in his life.
Mixed signals are another code for slightly-interested-but-not-enough. And you deserve more than that. You deserve someone who is sure. You deserve someone who isn’t stuck in some kind of emotional limbo, debating what exactly it is he feels about you. You deserve someone who chooses you, and makes sure you know it.
It’s tempting to play detective, but the moment you still have to ask “Does he like me?” chances are, at the back of your mind, you already have the answer. If the answer was yes, you wouldn’t even have to guess in the first place. There won’t even be a need to ask. Because you won’t just feel it. You won’t even have to ask Google or your friends about it. You’ll already know.