“With your body next to mine, we will beat as one” – Ed Sheeran
We met at a time when I was still hurting. I did not think you would become someone I fell for. I wasn’t expecting to fall the way I fell for you after just a month of knowing you.
Your smile lit up the room. Your presence brought a chilling serenity to my anxious mind. When we were together, everything worked. Everything I had been searching for was found when I met you.
From the moment you picked me up that warm September night, standing outside your car to greet me, I knew you were kind. Your eyes spoke the same way mine do—deeply and beautifully. One dinner with you and I suddenly felt butterflies anytime I would see your name pop on my phone. My heart would beat quickly when I’d get a text from you saying you were outside my house, waiting to go to dinner.
Every FaceTime, text message, and time shared with one another only made me fall for you more. Your pure heart and protective nature drew me in more and more each time. Your values and the deep conversations we carried with one another made me respect you so much more. Each conversation caused me to think about how happy you really made me. Each handhold, every kiss, all replay in my mind now. Everything was perfect. I was ready to be yours, you ready to be mine. Neither of us were moving too quickly, rather we were going at the same speed—something rare to find nowadays. No amount of time together felt like enough.
So why is it that right when things were unfolding perfectly, our afire love was burned out? In one night, all I began to look forward to for us was shattered. In a few hours, we went from laughing together for hours to crying that this was it. Our future was stopped. Our love was halted before it even reached its potential. All I wanted was to look into your eyes and hold you close. It broke my heart to hurt you, but realizing there was no more “us” broke me. Our book was closed shut, the chapter ending abruptly due to our one major difference. All the endless possibilities of who we could have been by each other’s sides is something we can only imagine now.
Every moment spent with you, while cut too short, was a moment I will cherish forever. You showed me how I want to be treated and how I deserve to be respected by a partner. You taught me so much about myself, my wants and needs and how I communicate them. We were meant to meet each other. And while it was not meant to be forever, knowing you has changed me. Being cared for by you has made me happy in a way I didn’t know I was capable of feeling. Navigating dating with someone as mature and communicative as you was a beautiful journey for me. Everything happens for a reason.
So, I wish you all the best. I really do. I hope you meet the best girl. Someone who makes your face light up even more than I did. Someone who watches every Harry Potter movie with you and bakes you banana bread. Someone who loves cuddling as much as you. Someone who appreciates everything you do for the people you care for. Someone who sees all the love and affection you hold and loves you more for your sweet and gentle nature. I hope you find someone who could appreciate and support the one thing I could not.
Until the pain passes and I heal from our afire love which no longer exists, I will keep on wishing you were still holding me in your arms the way you did.
“I could look into your eyes, until the sun comes up” – Ed Sheeran