I used to think being sensitive was a weakness so that’s why I built a shield around me that protected me from feeling. Unfortunately, this shield has made me miss out on opportunities that could’ve served well to my growth and soul evolution. However, as I look back on every experience I have lived up until now, I can say that my shield protected me when I needed it and taught me the lessons I needed to learn before moving on to my next chapter.
As confusing, exciting and overwhelming these past years have been, I have come to the understanding that my sensitivity isn’t my weakness; it’s my superpower, it helps me feel every single moment intensely and passionately.
As hard as it may be at times letting go of a person, situation or explaining myself to another, I realized that’s who I am. I live through my feelings and it’s what helps me connect to those around me, even if you’re a complete stranger.
I considered my sensitivity to others, to words, situations, events and experiences as a weakness because I didn’t want to portray myself as a fragile woman who gives up easily. I thought that keeping a straight face even when my heart was breaking was something to admire, but in reality those who openly express their feelings are truly the brave ones to admire.
Embracing my sensitivity has helped me learn that some connections are reciprocated, and some are meant to stay away. I’ve learned to differentiate between the kind of connections that will help me grow and the ones that will only take away.
My protective shield has taught me that it’s okay to protect myself but there is a difference and very thin line between protecting and avoiding. In my case, I have avoided deep feelings and silenced my inner voice when it was telling me exactly what I needed to do or say.
Both decisions have led me to allow people to stay longer than they should’ve and letting others go too soon, and as a person who feels too deeply this can become overwhelming and intense to process. But as I’ve gained awareness and strength in my sensitivity I’ve come to the understanding that feeling deeply for someone is what helps me heal.
By recognizing what I feel through the other person is what allows me to see what I fear, hide and avoid. Their darkness resonates with mine and it invites me to confront my own and that’s the power of sensitivity; the more you embrace it the more vulnerable you become to your own light and darkness.
You allow yourself to feel without explaining yourself to others, you stop excusing yourself from crying out happiness or anger and you simply allow yourself to feel.
As I’ve learned to embrace my sensitivity I’ve realized how it has helped me understand others. It has helped me connect to their fears and insecurities even if they are unaware of it; which is why it could be called a super power, not everyone knows what you are capable understanding or feeling.
There is something about darkness that has always intrigued me and being sensitive to this has led me to follow my heart into what is unsaid or hidden.
The things we hide, fear or avoid all have a meaning that we carry in our hearts and even though this “interest” might get me into trouble at times, it does lead me into a better understanding of who I am and what I am passionate about.
Sensitivity goes beyond words or actions; it’s about a deep understanding when you look into somebody’s eyes and feel their pain or hear the words they can’t say.
It’s about the silence that penetrates through your body and lets you know what the other person is feeling.
There is no reason to be ashamed of our sensitivity; sometimes the things that break us are actually the ones that build us into a stronger person.
As I continue to embrace my so called weakness I have gained clarity in what feeds my soul and feeds my ego, and sometimes these moments of insight are the ones you need in order to get yourself back on the path you are meant to be on, and this can only happen when you give yourself permission to feel through every experience.
If you hold yourself back from feeling you will never know what you should be letting go off, or what you should be opening your arms to.