Do I want to start dating? Yes. Do I want to make the effort into dating? Mmmm No.
I’ve come to a point in my life where I like the thought of going to dinner or movies with a guy I have a crush on and post cute (annoying to others) pictures of ourselves doing fun (but lame to others) things but yet the thought of having to share my bed and Netflix with someone else makes me want to throw up.
At first I thought, maybe I’m pushing guys away since there have been several prospects I’ve shut down and maybe I’m the one with the problem. Recently, it seems that most of my friends are getting boyfriends or even worse, getting engaged. When I’m scrolling through Facebook, it makes me happy to see that others have found happiness (truly it does) *drinks bottle of wine while crying on the inside* and I can’t help but think the big question:
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? WHY CANT I FIND THAT HAPPINESS.
Then it hit me: There’s nothing wrong with me. I am simply comfortably single.
It took a while to fully understand this concept but its true. I have reached that point in my life where I am completely comfortable being single.
Now I’m not saying that if someone were to come around and change that I wouldn’t go for it. I probably would. But right now I prefer doing my own thing and see what life has in store for me. Hopefully some Tory Burch bags.
I’ve become that girl that has learned to enjoy being with other girls more than with one guy. I’ve realized how important these friendships are, especially at such a confusing time in our lives and I want to share all my college memories making stupid, drunken mistakes with them.
If its 2 in the morning, I’d rather be on the floor shoving pizza in my face while one is puking in the toilet and the other is still trying to somehow finish that Vodka we left at the pregame.
If we’re out at a bar/club, I’d rather dance around in a group with all my girls than have a guy grind his magic wand on my ass which lets be honest is not fun for either of us.
If its 1 in the afternoon, I’d rather lounge on the couch all day watching dumb romantic comedies with my roommates eating Chinese food than having to worry about putting make up on and looking good because Bob is going to come over and we’re going to watch a movie in the room but we both know that’s just going to lead to messy sheets and a trip to CVS the next morning (but hopefully not).
I’M TRYING TO WATCH FINDING NEMO BOB, GOD GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE. GODDAM.
Even when I am out with one guy I can’t help but think about all the things my friends are doing while I’m gone, like what am I missing out on? Most likely they’re smoking on the couch watching Workaholics but this isn’t only about being with my friends, it’s about doing things I prefer to do own my own and things I have planned for the future.
While most people are trying to catch that fish, I’m over here at Chipotle about to drive somewhere far to go hiking with my soul mate (my dog).
There are too many things I want to do and too many places I want to see before having to worry about dragging someone else’s ass along with mine, and don’t forget Charlie’s ass (my dog) is already accounted for so that’s three asses. #We’reAPackageDeal
Now I’m not going to lie, I’ve had my fair share of one night stands and hook ups every now and then and they’re fun for someone who is looking for something simple, easy and not worrying about the whole commitment thing, which is great!
Honestly though, sometimes I admit, I might get lonely and end up watching movies like “The Best of Me” or “Titanic” while shoving a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s in my face and that’s normal. It’s okay. You’re not alone; there are other sad people out there too.
I know what relationships are like, I’ve been in a few (my longest being about 3 years) and yes they are equally wonderful and painful. I’m not against love, I’ve been in love and it’s a beautiful feeling. However, I think that for a while I’m done with all that.
I’m sure that my time of sharing my happiness with someone else will come along eventually, hopefully sooner than later but I’m not worried, and in the meantime I’m just going to do my own thing.
I believe it’s important as a human being to take time for yourself to reflect on who you are and what you want of out your life. Get to know yourself first.
*Applauds* “YOU DO YOU BOO BOO” (yes thank you)
So, my message to all those girls and boys out there who are wondering if they are the problem:
Or maybe you are who knows, I don’t know you so I can’t say.
Embrace the single life as an opportunity to live your life to the fullest for yourself and without even knowing it, things will fall into place. You just have to be patient and believe.