1. A Yard Sale
A yard sale. Relationships look great until you get closer and realize it’s all a bunch of shit. I’m just kidding. It’s more like a long race that ends with the two you finally saying ‘screw it’ and sitting on the couch to watch Netflix.
2. An Investment
A relationship is an investment…but not in money, in time, and the more you put into it the more you get out. The interest rate is pretty high on time, btw.
3. A Sandbox
A sandbox that only the two of you can play in and by ‘sandbox’ I mean bed and by ‘play’ I mean sex.
4. A Bicycle
Relationships are like bicycles. You fall a lot at first but eventually you get hit by a car while changing lanes.
5. A Bridge
Building a relationship is like building a bridge when no one’s an engineer and you have no idea how long it needs to last or what stresses it’s going to encounter. So, build it strong.
6. A Garden
Relationships are like a garden. They only produce anything good for about seven months and are always a chore to get started again.
7. Like Falling
True love in a relationship is like falling and actually being caught.
8. A Pillow Fight
A relationship is like a pillow fight, you can hit each other but just make sure it’s with something soft.
9. A Cloud
The first year we were married, my wife compared our relationship to a cloud because even when I was home from work there wasn’t any substance to me. That’s not the case anymore.
10. A Journey
It’s definitely a ‘journey’ you take together in the metaphorical sense and I hear people refer to it as an adventure. Just remember, Frodo was on an adventure too and it scarred him for life. Was it worth it? Yep. Did it suck hard a lot of times? Also, yes.
11. A Chaotic Upbringing
Marriage, IMO, is a lot like being raised by someone your own age, chaotic and with a huge learning curve.
12. The Ocean
I actually do think the ocean is a great metaphor for me and my boyfriend’s relationship, always changing but always still the ocean.
13. A Machine
My girlfriend and I went through a rough patch last year and she suggested we talk about or problems using the metaphor of a machine. Then we argued for a half hour about what part of the relationship constituted the gears and the engine. That was the last time we used a metaphor.
14. The Earth And Moon
The Earth and the Moon. Like them, he and I are eternally trapped by a force neither of us can escape. That force would be love…and the legally binding marital contract we both signed.