1. “Went to Mexico for our honeymoon. Beautiful beaches, friendly people, having a great time. Husband says ‘let’s try a hole in the wall.’ So, we do and it’s delicious and fun and then we spent the next day pooping our brains out from food poisoning and the day after rehydrating and recovering. The day after that we went home.
Yay for being adventurous!”
2. “I had the worst, most painful UTI of my life during our honeymoon. I could feel it coming on the day before we left and did my best to fight it back but all my efforts were for naught. No sexy times, constant discomfort, new husband constantly telling me how sorry he was and doing his best to suppress his disappointment. It was then that I determined God hates me.”
3. “At the time we got married we couldn’t actually afford a honeymoon. So, two years later we’re both doing a lot better so we schedule our honeymoon. We were both excited to finally seal the deal and have sex for the first time (joke). A week before the trip her father has a heart attack and ends up not pulling through. She has to use lots of vacation time to deal with that. Honeymoon cancelled. We decide to do it the next year. Next year comes. I break my foot two days before we leave.
We still haven’t had one.”