LifeSelf-Love

A Few Pieces Of Realist Life Advice Anyone Can Use Right Now

Be Alone

Take time to be with yourself. There’s a comfort in being able to find who you really are. There’s comfort in knowing that you, alone, can keep yourself happy. While there’s something special about having someone to rely on to keep you company, to cook your food, to make you smile, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Relying on someone to keep you happy, to keep you company, to keep you…you, that’s the last thing you want. You need to find what makes you happy internally. When you find what keeps you happy, what makes your internal clock tick, that’s when you should find someone who amplifies those feelings. But until then . . .

Be alone.

Be Selfish

Choose yourself. First. Always choose yourself first. At the end of the day, there’s no one more important in our lives than us. Think about it, when you graduate college, there is one name on the diploma, not an entire friend group. When you earn a raise at your job, your entire department and all of the employees that make it up are not listed on your check. And when you die, there is one name on the gravestone. Do what you need to do for yourself. Be Alone. There will always be a time and a place to take care of others, to be kind to strangers and to put your effort into a significant other, but without your own happiness, without acknowledging your own self-worth, none of that matters. Treat yourself correctly, treat yourself with love, no matter what love means to you. Never be afraid to do what’s right for you in your life, because that’s exactly what it is, YOUR life, no one else’s. Be kind to others – be helpful to those around you – be loving to those who love you. But above all else, do all of those things to yourself and remember . . .

Be selfish.

Be You

This one may seem a little silly or even confusing. I mean how can we be anyone else other than ourselves, right? Well think of it this way – don’t act like someone else or do things other people do just to seem like “one of the boys/girls”. There’s a humbling feeling in knowing that the people who surround you are there for the person you are inside, not the person you’re portraying on the outside. Being true to yourself makes it easier to be true to those people around you – ultimately making life easier to handle. You’re not pretending, you’re just living. It pays off to be yourself, even if you think changing your clothes or listening to different music is the cool thing to do. Remain humble and keep doing you . . .

Be you.

Say What You Want To Say

There is always a time and a place to say what you think, why you think it, and perhaps why others should too. There’s a saying that goes “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. Well, why not? What’s so wrong with saying something that may not be nice? What’s wrong with being honest with people. No matter what you have to say, or what you think you have to say, there is always room for more input. What gets people so upset and angry today, is not being able to handle what is being said. If your friend asks you for advice or tells you that he or she is going to do something and you think it’s not in their favor to go through with it, tell them, even if it hurts their feelings. Saving someone, whether it be from injury, heartbreak, or just any type of poor decision, is always worth it in the long run. Alter how you say things, but don’t alter what you say. Those who listen to what you have to say will be better off knowing that you’re not afraid to speak your mind to them. Those who shut you out . . . well are those people we want around us in the first place? Speaking up for what you know is right shouldn’t be something we are all afraid of, it’s something we should be excited to do. Help someone. Save someone. Simply guide someone in a better direction, even if you may be afraid to hurt their feelings.

Say what you want to say.

Be Excited To Fail, Don’t Be Afraid Of It

The amazing and powerful act that is failing. You’ve probably heard numerous speeches online or read pages on pages of tips about failure in self-help books, so I’ll keep this short. People who say that “failure is not an option” are the last group you want to surround yourself with. Failure should be the only option . . . at first. You can’t learn, succeed or thrive from constant success. This applies to anyone, anywhere. A great sports teams never got better from blowing another team out. They get better from losing to a team that’s even better, processing where things went wrong and striving to improve them. A financial advisor who loses a client to another advisor, or simply can’t even get someone to pick up the phone is failing. But more importantly, their learning. Mr. Smith didn’t like how I phrased this package, so I switch it up and Mrs. Jones loves it. Same product, different approach, different outcome. Failing does not set you back, rather it propels you forward. Success comes and goes throughout life, but to succeed, you have to remember . . .

Be excited to fail, don’t be afraid of it.

Treat People The Way They Want To Be Treated

An old teacher of mine once said that the saying “treat others the way you want to be treated” was the biggest load of crap he’d ever heard. And at the time when he first said it, I was shocked. But when you really think about it, it makes perfect sense. There is no reason you should treat people the way you want to be treated because those are two drastically different things. I’m a realist. I say things how I see them, and I don’t care much about hurting feelings if what I say needs to be said. But if I’m talking to someone who is more reserved and sensitive, the last thing I want to do is talk to them the way I want someone to talk to me. So, the next time you meet someone, whether its family, friend or stranger, think about them and the way they conduct themselves. Adjust accordingly and . . .

Treat people the way they want to be treated.

Everything Is A Mindset

Get it done. It doesn’t matter what it is. It doesn’t matter when you’re doing it in your life. It doesn’t matter who you’re with if you’re with anyone at all. If you want something, the best time to start was yesterday and the worst time to start is tomorrow. That leaves you with one option. It doesn’t matter if you want to start writing, go on a weight loss journey, start working on that car that’s been in the garage for years or kick a bad habit, you have to have the mindset to get it done. Now, I get that it’s easier said than done, but it doesn’t have to be. A book I read a few months back talks about this simplicity phenomenon. It’s the mindset that something is so incredibly simple that you don’t have to do it, but by not doing it, you’re doing more harm than good. By doing the little things immediately, you’re making your life much easier and simpler. Most people don’t want to get up early to go to the gym, but it’s all a mindset. Get it out of the way now, so when you leave work you go home and don’t have to worry about it. Your day is exactly the same 9-5 but you already got something productive done. If you can do it in under 2 minutes, do it now. If you wanted to do it later, do it now. It’s not going to be fun or enjoyable at first but in the long run, you’ll thank yourself . . .

Everything is a mindset.

Screw That “It Takes Time To Open Up” Crap

This goes along with the last section about being yourself. If you’ve ever met me, you know I’m me 100% of the time. I don’t act differently because I’m around new people. Why the hell would I do that? In a way, that’s lying. If I don’t act like my normal self, I’m not “being me”. This doesn’t mean I use the same language with professors or bosses that I do with my friends, it just means I go about my day with the same mentality and charisma I would with anyone. I’m a happy guy, I make jokes about pretty much anything, and I’m a sarcastic S.O.B. And I’m like that with everyone! What I say and how I say it depends on the people, place, and situation but I don’t change who I am because of people . . .

Screw that “it takes time to open up” crap.

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Taking life one step at a time, and being sarcastic the whole way thru Follow Daniel on Instagram or read more articles from Daniel on Thought Catalog.

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