Everything we say and do in life is to influence what we want to occur. Whether we say something because we want another person to feel good or do something because we want ourselves to feel good, it always comes back to what we want.
So, it’s interesting to watch what desires give way to others — most notably in day-to-day situations that influence a bigger picture.
For example, if I set out to achieve a goal, I have a picture in my mind of how it’s going to unfold. At some point, what I want in the end will be confronted by what I want in the moment — it’s then my job to make the call of what’s going to pull rank.
Far too often, our attachment to way we want things to go en route to realizing our dreams ends up sabotaging our deepest-seated desire. We lose sight of how although the details are important in our minor encounters, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. The tighter we clasp onto how we feel it should go along the way, the more our objectivity is blurred.
When we’re overly-attached, our ego steps in. We’re unwilling to receive input, request criticism or take on new ideas because we know it will harm our inauthentic self — the one posturing for praise and recognition instead of making a meaningful difference to others.
What’s driving the attachment is our need for certainty and our fear of insignificance. If we opt for a new idea, especially one we didn’t come up with, the certainty we possessed with our initial plan is wiped out — giving way to a lesser degree of understanding and therefore, a lesser degree of confidence.
On the same lineage, the primitive components of our psyche take issue with abdicating full control of our destiny. It feels that if we allow others to contribute to us, we’ll appear unable to think for ourselves and as a result, won’t matter as much. This foolishness is not recognizable to our conscious awareness, which is a big reason why we don’t interrupt this seemingly simple distinction right away.
This trap sets in quicker than we can recognize, running rampant on all that we value as most important to us in the long-run. Stepping outside of this tendency can be a tall order, but it’s not impossible.
We have to understand that to manifest what we wish to unfold, we must be open to the best possible ideas — even if we had nothing to do with their construction. There’s a quiet humility that can vanquish our arrogance if we let it, reinforcing there are people who possess vantage points we never will. Instead of fighting this reality, we can embrace it by adopting new beliefs and strategies as we press on with forward momentum.
This involves tapping into your highest level of thinking on a consistent basis. The one that doesn’t jump to conclusions about what things mean. The one that doesn’t identify with minor details. The one that understands we’re going to be fine, whether or not things go exactly the way we want them to.
Conditioning is required to make this a habit but like anything else, the more you consciously employ it, the more natural it becomes. Over time, it won’t take you all day to understand you being hung up your point-of-view isn’t serving you — it’ll happen in the moment.
It comes down to one question: Do I want to feel good right now or do I want to feel good for the rest of my life?
Ultimately, it’s your choice. You can attempt to maintain the illusion of control as you navigate your life or keep your mind’s lid wipe open as you listen keenly for the greatest ideas and opportunities that float into your awareness.
Despite how clear your vision may seem, it can all be altered in an instant. Life has a funny way of changing our plans when we least expect it. You can kick and scream, knowing in your heart the river will continue to flow in the same direction, or you can look for where you can grow.
Sometimes the best outcome of prayers are the ones left unanswered.