A Love/Hate Relationship With Ice Cream Donuts


Curious, you stumble into a quaint little ice cream shop in Midtown, Manhattan after a friendly dinner with a friend. You’re not too hungry, but you’ve got just enough room in your tummy for dessert. Your eyes wander and set on an intriguing dessert item. It’s love at first sight.

You look at it over the counter and suddenly feel a bit apprehensive. In fact, right now you could come up with 100 reasons why you shouldn’t eat it. But it beckons you, like forbidden fruit hanging from a tree, except the only one trying to convince you not to eat it is yourself.

Reason #1 I shouldn’t. It has too much sugar.
Reason #66 I can’t. I’m watching my carb intake.

The ice cream donut perfectly embodies our 20’s and 30’s. Creativity. Risk. Indulgence. We bring back the old and make it new. There’s nothing truly new under the sun so we press the “refresh” button. When you look at it, it’s really just a donut sliced in half with three scoops of ice cream in the middle. Yet there hasn’t been a more delicious combination since peanut butter met chocolate. Call it the evolution of the ice cream sandwich. I call it dessert.

What the heck? One ice cream donut won’t hurt, right? But it has three scoops of ice cream. THREE SCOOPS!

After deciding to take the plunge, you must now decide which combination of donut, ice cream, and toppings to go with. Choose wisely. Will you choose a glazed donut with vanilla ice cream and confetti sprinkles? No, that’s too plain! You want this to be worth all those calories, calories from fat, total fat, saturated fat, carbs, and grams of sugar. And a little bit of Vitamin A and protein so you can almost pretend it’s healthy. But, who are we kidding? This is indulgence at its finest, ladies and gents.

How about a glazed donut with Neapolitan ice cream, one scoop for each flavor, all topped with fruity pebbles?

That could work.

Or, might I interest you in a chocolate donut with a mix of cookies and cream scoops and chocolate chip cookie dough scoops, with chucks of Reese’s peanut butter cups sprinkled on top?

Yeah, that sounds about right.

So wickedly delicious it’s probably banned in certain religions. An anathema to anyone watching their figure. To bite into one of these fluffy, yet-at-the-same creamy, treats is to proverbially raise your fist and shout, “I’m living life to the fullest!”

Who cares how many calories it has? Enjoy your fatty, sugary treat and live in the now. Deal with the consequences later. Don’t even think about it. Just live your life. YOLO, right? Do people still say that?

You don’t want to look back 20 years from now, wishing you had taken this opportunity. You’ll be goading your children to learn from your mistake and not miss out on life. They’ll roll their eyes and tune you out as they play the virtual reality 3D video game implanted in their brain.

Do yourself a favor and avoid that scene all together, yeah.

So, where’s the hate? Well, the title of this essay is misleading. The hate was a lie! It’s all love here. How can you not love something so deliciously simple? Or is it simply delicious? Can it be both? Can I have my cake…I mean, ice donut, and eat it too?

The answer to all your questions is yes! YES! After each bite, you shout it with such orgasmic enthusiasm that the woman next to you rushes to the counter and demands, “I’ll have what she’s having.”

For just this moment, let’s forget life’s calories.

Live a little. TC Mark

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