I used to think it was rubbish, this whole concept of self-love. I mean why is loving yourself so important? It honestly sounds so vain. So, I ignored the part of my life, that I clearly did not have. I cried; I self-harmed; I made myself vomit; I cried some more; I let others manipulate me and abuse me; I self-harmed and I woke up screaming, from PTSD episodes. My life was a never-ending string of depression with no happiness breaking through. Until one day, mid hitting the floor and shattering, I stopped. Mid-fall, I levitated…and I breathed. I allowed myself to see all that had happened to me and realized that maybe my self-destruction wasn’t always a curse. Maybe I needed this, I needed to hit rock bottom before I could ever save myself from drowning. Because that’s why I had survived these storms: to become my own hero and save the day. I realized that every scar that my heart and skin ever carried, were memories…not of when I was weak, but of when I was strong. Because in those moments I wanted to die; but I picked myself up and at the end of the day I was still breathing.
Why is self-love so important? If you can’t love and respect yourself, no one ever can. That dark, empty depression you feel every day? It’s because you don’t believe that you deserve to be happy. You are a bomb made up of self-destructive tendencies. If you are to appreciate and acknowledge yourself, your own bravery to get through all the bad days…then one day, you won’t have a missing puzzle piece that you fill with vomiting or crying or excessive eating or self-harming: one day there will just be you…and you will be enough.