I am ridden with guilt. I did not appreciate you enough while you were still here and that is the unfortunate truth of humanity… we don’t realize what we have until it’s gone. Most would not understand what you meant and always will mean to me; the little things you did for me that I kept a secret for so long. I can’t think of my childhood and not think of you. For eleven years, you were always there. You were the class clown and gave me a nickname that I can’t hear without remembering the way you used to say it in your teasing tone. I can’t ever repay you for what you have given me. You got me through some of my toughest patches and I hated myself for not getting you through yours. You were the first person to encourage my writing and acknowledge me for my differences and tell me that no matter what anyone else had to say- there was nothing wrong with me. So after all these years: here is my thank you. Thank you for this life that you have given me. You may not have given birth to me or have been there for me every time it got tough but had you not dragged me out of my black hole 4 years ago… I wouldn’t be alive now. Thank you for giving me the strength to not only save myself but passing on that strength to others. Three years have passed but you remain in my heart and it’s the kind of love that will never fade away. I know that I may not be able to see you anymore but you always walk alongside me because the ones that we love never truly leave us. I carry you with me on every journey and your memory gives me strength to stay. You shine amongst the stars now angel… forever guiding me home.
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