My heart was filled with bitterness. Tainted with my sin of selfishness…I was held in shackles; unable to forgive.
I was unable to forgive those who had hurt me, those who had abandoned me. Why should I be happy for those who created my sadness? Why should I not pray for their misery?
You proclaimed false promises and whispered meaningless “I love you”s. When I let you into my heart, you pretended as if you would be the last one. But instead, you caused tornadoes in my heart- thrashed about wildly and tore at my fragile heart.
For so long, I was blinded by my self- righteousness. Although my heart healed- I still looked at you with bitterness. Until the one who helped mend my heart brought me to my knees. And on bent knees: I looked towards the cross. I prayed that He would lift the bitterness from my heart and grant me the strength to forgive.
I remembered that I am only to love and never to hate. “He who hates me also hates my Father.” John 15:23 ICB
So, in prayer and on bent knees: I forgave you. And I found Grace to be happy for you. I was reminded that there was a reason why you had not stayed: God always had a person in mind for me and you were never him.
He granted me clear sight- to see that you prevented me from fulfilling God’s plan for me. To see that you kept me from meeting my soulmate. Now that I am with him, I understand things so much more clearly.
So why should bitterness prevent me from being happy for you to find the one God created for you? And why should I hold onto to sadness when I have found the one my soul loves?