To The Only Person I Have Ever Loved

Two people holding each other close, dancing slowly in darkened room
Matthew Henry / Unsplash

My angel, here is my love letter to you. I shall write down my most personal thoughts and feelings that I was too afraid to share before. I have messed up so many times in my life but you were not one of those times. I feel as if ever since you stepped into my life suddenly things have gone right. I won’t go on about how you are more beautiful than a runway model or more glamorous than a movie star from one of your beloved musicals but I will tell you that you are the only girl who has ever made me stop and question: “Is this what real beauty is?” You make my heart hurt with happiness and are so blissfully unaware of how I can’t ever look anywhere but at you. You have made me feel comfortable. Now coming from the girl who used to wear makeup like a daily mask and wore whatever anyone else ever told me to… comfort is an unfamiliar feeling to me. You didn’t care if I wore sweatpants and baggy tops, you would still look at me and reply: “You are so beautiful.” I realized one day that I had only ever worn makeup around you once. Your arms have been my safety net- keeping me from my own demons and self-destructive tendencies. My dear god, I could go on for hours and pages of all the things you make me feel but there is something very important I need to say. You didn’t change me: you changed my perception of myself. You walked into my life, took me by the hand and said “It’s time you saw the good in you.” You made me want to be a better me and not for you or anyone else but for myself. So here is my thank you; thank you for giving me the strength and motivation to save me from myself. I am just a girl…in love with another girl; wholeheartedly, heads over heels in love. And no you may not be perfect but your flaws are non-existent to me and no that’s not being blinded by love. No, that’s called loving someone enough to accept their imperfections and love them with your whole heart anyway. I know my words will never convey all that you mean to me; nor will they show you all that you are worth. But I never said this would be my last love letter, for I will spend every day showing you that you are far from a misty night: you’re the moon of my life. TC mark

Andrea Sachs in training.

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