Some People Just Don’t Want to be Saved

woman kneeling in front of mountains
Erica Magugliani

I planted kisses in your skin, so that one day flowers could grow through to your soul. One day, you would find the beauty that I saw in you then. I treasured every second with you and spoilt you with love and happiness. I remembered all the pain that others had showered you with, the pain that you drowned in until I pulled you from your darkest thoughts and self-pity. I took a sewing needle and threads of love and appreciation and mended your heart. You were finally treated like a queen, my queen! Then one day; “I can’t commit,” you said,” I’m not over him.” So back you went, an abusee back to her abuser. He was the addiction you could not break. After all the respect and love I gave to you, I came to the realization. All you knew was chaos and heartbreak—you could not deal with happiness, you did not know how to be happy because sadness was all that you knew. I gave you what you deserve and more, but you do not think you are worthy of being light with joy and simply feel that you deserve to drown in the dark. And, although I feel sorry for you, I do not deserve to go down with you. I cannot wait for you to realize that you are leaving happiness and love behind to chase after a person that created hurricanes in your mind.  So as it begins to get harder to hold onto you and keep you afloat, I let go of your hand and let you sink towards the bottom as I swim out to go find what I deserve. Because in the end, some people just do not want to be saved, but that does not mean we should kill ourselves trying to convince them otherwise. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Andrea Sachs in training.

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