Can Guys And Gals Be Just Friends?

image - Flickr / onur bahcivancilar
image – Flickr / onur bahcivancilar

The answer: YES.

As cliché and annoying as it may sound, I have always-and-to-this-day remained as a female with a group of predominantly male friends.

So lets work this problem backwards:

If guys and girls really can’t be friends then my current situation must be explained by:

a. They are all actually trying to date me and or sleep with me.

Until I grew my hair, I looked like a 12-year-old boy. It was so bad in fact, people would compliment my mother on her two “sons”. This rules out the possibility that I’m attractive enough to grab the sexual desires of all of my compatriots.

In addition, most my friends in fact have long term girlfriends, of whom; they have met during the course of our friendship. This implies, they know me; they like me, still find other people to date, BUT still like me enough to keep around. This is equally supported by the fact that some of my friendships are going on 7 years or more, so if they really are interested, they need to stop dating other girls, grow some balls and make a move.

b. They are using me, to get close to other girls, or my girlfriends.
Yeah, no. The number of female friends I have I can count on one hand. And like I said, we are talking about some long-term friendships. So, they are either ignorant of my lack of wing-women skills or have stupid faith in me obtaining girlfriends.

c. I’m loaded, so they hang out with me for the free stuff.
In. My. Dreams. am I loaded to that extent. I come from the families of a shady looking Chinese restaurant and rednecks from central USA. So again another no.

Now I’ll acknowledge that I may have left out some situations. But I would now like to work the problem forwards.

This is all from my personal experience, but like I said, I’m holding on to some seriously long guy-girl friendships. Humans are by nature social creatures, and as somewhat intelligent beings we surprisingly need more human interaction than fulfilling our sexual desires. And unless you’re some pretentious douche-wad, we tend to befriend more than those we want to have metaphorical babies with. Just as you would befriend another member of the same sex, you do so not for their looks, but instead for mutual interest, insightful conversation and someone to bounce ideas off of.

Now from my perspective, I won’t deny wondering if maybe some friends and I would be a good match. But I can personally say I have never had a strong desire to actually be with one of them. In fact knowing as much as I do about them makes them less attractive as potential partners

All in all, there are probably many reasons why any of us haven’t gotten together. And while I can’t guarantee nothing will ever happen, I can guarantee that I have some pretty awesome ‘mates, truly great friends, and I’ll take them anyway I can. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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