Nowadays, it’s pretty tough to recognize who really belongs in your tribe. It’s getting harder than ever to tell if someone is a friend or a foe. You don’t really know if they are just wolves in sheep’s clothing. One day they are good, the next day they ruin everything. And admit it, it sucks to know that those people you trust the most would one day be the cause of one of your greatest heartbreaks. Yes, it is possible to get your heart broken because of friendships. Heartbreaks are not limited to romantic partners. I wish they are, but they are not.
There are times when you would open your heart to these people that you call friends. You let yourself become vulnerable as shit, exposing all your flaws and rough edges, thinking that they would accept you no matter what. And then, BAM! The next thing you know, they were actually just looking for ways to bring you down and make themselves feel better. You realize that they are all ears because they want to know where your sore spots are hidden. They’ll make fun of your misery and they’ll delight in your agony. The knowledge that you once shared with them – they will call it their own and they will tell people that it was you who copied them.
They will stick with you while you are still shining, when you look like you have your shit together, when things are better than fine. They’ll find a way to attach their name to yours and you’re sure as hell that you are always within their radar as long as you have your status, job title, land title, bank account and all kinds of temporary crap that elevates your rank in this delusive society. But the moment you walk through storms, the moment you lose your will to get up from your bed, notice how quiet your life gets. Notice how many unread messages you have left. One by one, they will fade in the dark, and you will be left alone wondering whether they’ve even been there from the start. Honestly, they weren’t. Once these so-called friends get what they want from you, you can’t expect them to return the favor, ever! You’re lucky if you even get a ‘thank you’, but I won’t count on that too.
So, how do you know if they really care about you or if they are just using you?
The truth is there is no easy way to do this. You actually have to go through some deep shits to be able to sort out the best of the bests. You have to go through some dark times to see who shines the most. You have to keep walking through a pitch dark tunnel until you see the light at the end of it. You might lose hope along the way, but I swear, the brightest stars will shine through the night and though the tunnel might seem endless, I swear, in time, you will see the light. It just takes an awful lot of time, patience and an infinite hope that somewhere out there, there are people who will understand you and never judge you based on how you live your life, because they too, are very much aware that their lives are flawed and they’re just trying to get by one day at a time.
These people might not be able to help you all the way, but you will feel their genuine compassion with the way they look and talk to you. And you know what? Sometimes, we don’t actually need someone’s help to get back up. Sometimes, just knowing that someone is there for us, listening and trying their best to understand us the way no one else would – that’s all the love and support that we need. Some people might be right in our faces all the live long day, but it’s possible to feel like they are thousands of miles away. Stay away from them – make that distance a reality. Stick with the ones who can hear your silent sobs in between your laughter or the slight crack in your voice when you feel like you are in danger. Stick with the ones who choose to stand by your side when you feel helpless and powerless. Stick with the ones whose love vibrates no matter where they are in the world; the ones who may not be physically with you, but you know would they never stop sending healing energy to you when you need it the most.
The moment we realize that we are not actually alone as we go through life’s biggest blows, that’s when we would know who our real friends are.