I Really Want To Get Close To You, But I’m Afraid Of Getting Hurt

Once upon a time, I poured my heart out. I gave everything I got. I let my heart get shattered and every single piece of it was thrown at my face. Everyone who promised that they would stay with me forever are nothing but haunted memories now. So, forgive me if I am having a tough time letting someone in again. Forgive me if I am taking things slow. I am thrilled and mesmerized every time I am with you. And there’s really no one else I’d rather be with, I hope you know. Your laughter echoes in my head even weeks after we see each other, and your smile is all I can think about when I’m in the midst of a self-inflicted disaster. Please don’t think that we’re just wasting or passing time. The truth is, I’ve never been this serious in my life.

But despite feeling like I got it all figured out, even after all that we’ve been through, sometimes, somehow, I’m still wondering…is that how you feel too?

I’m done looking back at my past, and I can only hope you are too. I’m sick of reminiscing. I hate getting flashbacks of things that never really happened. I hate wasting my energy on the wrong things and wrong people.

Listen, it’s not that I don’t want to hold on to you; I just want to make sure that once I do, you will never brush me off or let me go. It’s not that I don’t want to embrace you; I just want to make sure that when I do, you will never push me away like the others normally do. I will never run from you, if you don’t want me to. But in case you’re wondering why I’m getting a bit distant at times, know that I’m just taking my time to figure out whether or not you feel the same way I do.