This Is What Only Tinder Can Teach You About Love


Similar to most 20-somethings out there, I wanted to try my luck with the ever popular dating app, Tinder. I downloaded the app, let it connect me through my Facebook and started swiping.

I immediately started matching with potential candidates right away and felt a surge of adrenaline. I felt like I had the dating world literally at my fingertips. It didn’t take long before I met my first potential match. He was successful, drove a brand new black Audi, and was roommates with an old friend of mine from many years ago. I felt safe meeting him at his home and hanging out.

We had accelerated our relationship with asking each other questions and realized we were the same person. Something you would think that would make us work, right? Nope. We met and my first impression was he physically wasn’t what I wanted and I think that that’s the first hindrance of Tinder. You never know what you actually getting. Fast forward to him showing me around his gorgeous townhome and showing off his shoe collection. I was immediately turned off but I didn’t want to be rude considering I was his guest. Next came the “Netflix and Chill” moment and I decided to go with it but after him unsuccessfully trying to take off my pants, I left. He was rude and arrogant and used his wealth to make up for his height.

I left his home feeling used and strange. I was invited over to see if he could get laid. Sure, our texts were Rated R late at night but nothing that set me up for the feeling of being used. I felt like I was part of some elaborate joke and the punch line was me. Easy to guess, I unmatched us and deleted his number. I was happy to see him go.

My next match was an Italian store manager. He didn’t give too much away on his profile but after a couple weeks of talking, we made plans. I met him after work and I was instantly attracted to him but it felt off on his end. I was excited to sit and talk to him but he seemed more interested in telling me about his most recent Tinder dates. He never made eye contact with me as I listened to his elaborate stories of his decorated life. His scotch on the rocks hit him and he continued to tell me about his wealthy time on Wall Street. Apparently a girl broke his heart and he squandered it all on booze and drugs. I was instantly turned off and was happy to finish my vodka soda and leave. I quickly deleted his number and was also happy to see him go too.

My last and final Tinder date was a successful and sweet businessman who worked in Manhattan. I say last Tinder date because after this encounter, I was done with the dating app forever. We connected immediately and considering his crazy and hectic schedule, we decided to meet the following night. It was spontaneous and crazy and I loved every minute of it. Considering his reputation in the public eye, I was also very nervous but excited about meeting him. We met as planned and it was an instant attraction and instant connection. We both couldn’t believe we were meeting after only a few short hours of matching on the app. I felt like I had hit the Tinder jackpot considering who he was but more importantly how humble and sweet he was towards me. I hadn’t felt that connection with someone in what felt like countless Tinder dates.

I felt at ease around him and was excited to see where the relationship would go but after only a few hours together, my fantasy was crushed. He was and is still entangled in a very serious situation involving his family and had no way to pursue a relationship with anyone until it was over. I felt like someone had popped all the heart bubbles in my eyes and filled me my feet with lead. I was devastated and left his home feeling empty. After trying to connect with him again through countless texts, I gave up on him but gave up on Tinder all together. I was crushed.

I still think about my last Tinder encounter and wonder how he is sometimes but after I was on what felt like a “Tinder bender,” I was over it. My emotions were the highest of high and the lowest of low when I was on the app. The hardest part about leaving the app was that I actually had to deal with my heartbreak without a distraction. After “mismatching” with the first few, I would jump back on and distract myself with someone new. It was a vicious and strange cycle that I didn’t understand until I deleted the app indefinitely. I was forced to deal with my feelings instead of covering them up with a new “match.” It was scary and I was down in the dumps for a few days, but it helped me grow and realize that real love and commitment cannot be found on a quick and easy dating app. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog