68 Thoughts I Had Watching ‘The Walking Dead’ For The First Time Ever

By

You could say I have been living under a rock considering I just decided today, November 2, 2015, to start watching the first episode of the first season of The Walking Dead. Sure, I know the show and continuously see spoilers all over my Facebook feed on Sunday nights full of angst so I finally decided to kick back with my bowl of Choco Mint Chip ice cream and figure out what the hype was all about.

  1. AMC is still a thing?
  2. Is that the same sheriff uniform they used in Texas Chainsaw Massacre?
  3. And two-and-a-half minutes in, dead body makes its first appearance complete with flies.
  4. I am assuming he needs gas.
  5. Little girl looks like the kid from The Poltergeist but with a knack for bunny slippers.
  6. Oh damn, that ain’t a little girl.
  7. SHOOT HER IN THE HEAD!!
  8. Sweet head shot.
  9. This theme music just screams all kinds of doom and gloom.
  10. Wait, now we have burgers?
  11. Now I want a burger and fries.
  12. That other cop is right…I never turn off the lights. Ever.
  13. Um, excuse me, where those burgers all gone when you threw them away Officer Not Rick.
  14. Holy shit car wreck.
  15. Wait, were zombies driving the car? Can zombies drive?
  16. Is like a clown car? How many more people are going to come out of it?
  17. There’s no way Rick can die? Isn’t he the HBIC?
  18. My brother’s name is Shane.
  19. Can we get some new flowers? Unless it DIY potpourri.
  20. This whole hospital gown/destroyed hospital reminds me of 28 Days Later…
  21. Dead girl in hallway, must not be a top rated hospital.
  22. OH THE IRONY OF THE ZOMBIES INSIDE THE CAFETERIA!!!
  23. Can zombies smell?
  24. Ugh, so many dead bodies. I honestly don’t even know what I would think if this was me.
  25. Seriously, where is everyone?
  26. EW. Where is the rest of that zombie’s body in the park? That is so sick. I wonder how they did that though.
  27. Honestly, what I look like when I don’t get enough sleep.
  28. The feels for Lori and Carl though. Whoever they are. Assuming family.
  29. OH! He got knocked the fuck out!
  30. Aw son and father taking him in. That’s nice.
  31. AH so the walkers can see and hear!
  32. Interesting so a fever burns you out then you die then you come back craving mad flesh.
  33. I have Adele stuck in my head.
  34. CAR ALARM. I would pee myself.
  35. Aw, poor Dwayne! His mama is a walker.
  36. And apparently walkers can turn door knobs.
  37. Woahhhhh, so that’s why it has to be the head. Something in their brains is still active. Interesting.
  38. First non firearm to kill walker = baseball bat.
  39. Next stop, Atlanta! Name drop, CDC.
  40. I remember when I had to take cold showers for a week. That hot water was LIFE.
  41. BYE DWAYNE!
  42. Do zombies ever actually die from starvation?
  43. OH HEAD SHOT!
  44. Why am I crying during this show? Too many feelings.
  45. Is he really about to do target practice on the zombies??
  46. I actually feel bad for the half zombie in the park.
  47. OH HEAD SHOT!
  48. ANOTHER HEAD SHOT!
  49. Ugh, poor Dwayne.
  50. Good, put the half zombie out of her misery.
  51. I am really crying though.
  52. MORE PEOPLE ALIVE!
  53. It’s Shane!
  54. Super stern Shane.
  55. WOAH. The wife and kid are alive…but the wife just kissed…his partner? Whaa.
  56. What do the walkers do during the day? Chill underground or something?
  57. SO. MANY. FLIES. AND. BODIES.
  58. “Been through the desert on a horse with no name…”
  59. So as a sheriff’s deputy, you know how to ride a horse?
  60. Atlanta is dead. Pun intended.
  61. Were those walkers really chilling on a bus?
  62. OH MY GOD. GO HORSE GO! NO NOT THE HORSE! GET UP RICK! RUN!
  63. THEY ARE LITERALLY EVERYWHERE
  64. Of course the sheriff’s bag of guns is chilling on the street mad far away.
  65. I kind of want him to drive the tank and crush some skulls.
  66. WHO IS ON THE RADIO?
  67. Poor horse…
  68. SO MANY WALKERS!

I will now proceed to binge watch the rest of the season.