We Want Relationships To Work But We Forget Loving Ourselves Is More Important

Christopher Campbell
Christopher Campbell

We want relationships. We want “that special someone” to sleep on our pillows, share with us food, sex, love, caresses. Kiss us every morning, hug us every night.

We don’t think that special someone would be “that” different, thus maintaining a healthy relationship would require huge work. “normal” huge work. Getting used to each other is alone a whole procedure, but when you develop it into a long lasting something, it requires adaptability, ability to place boundaries, meanwhile keep them flexible; involves non-stop communication about everything in the beginning, that slows downs eventually, but never stops, otherwise, we’re at the end of it. And we don’t want the end of it, right?

We want jobs. Then we forget we need to work at least 8 hours per day, keeping the salary going. Jobs involve non-stop learning, otherwise, you get stuck and get bored. 8 hours of boredom, have you ever tried that? Then, try to keep the balance between this job and the person who sleeps on our pillow.

We want marriage and kids, not thinking how little of time we have already got taking into account the person on the pillow and the job. We desperately want it official, and children for the sake of children, because why not? Forgetting, or rather, not knowing how little of time for sleeping and eating that child would leave to us.

We want interesting activities. Or travels. Or more studies. Or some self-development recreation.
Or learn a new language, maybe? Strike the kids out. Set calendar days for the person on the pillow, and get ready to choose for that special day when you two meet a movie OR sex OR talk. No time for all of them together. Tired after 5 day work. Morning traffic jams. Then the class of Greek language. Then… Oh. Have there been kids? No? Thanks God.

We want some “body care” too
. The soul is fed up. It wants to have rest while the body works out. Gym? Yoga class? Swing dance? Put that “once or twice” on your weekly calendar. Your body is happy. Are you? If it at least brings you joy for that VERY MOMENT when you’re doing it, then bravo. If you feel like sleeping all the time, while driving, or dancing, or leading the seminar, or watching the movie, congratulations.


We want it all, forgetting to put red flag priorities for some of them. So, place your red flags on that damned calendar and get some sleep. After all, tomorrow is another day. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Cristina Hiraeth is a linguist by education, storyteller by passion and lindy hopper by spirit.

More From Thought Catalog