As a culture, I really do believe we value love more than anything else. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I think being in a loving, long-term, and dedicated relationship means that you’re with someone special—someone who makes your life more relaxed and full of all the good things this world has to offer. Call me whatever you want, but I’m going to say it now: I’m in a serious relationship with pasta and…I think you are too.
Believe me – I’ve had a lot of it in my life and I can honestly say that there’s pasta out there for you. It’s the food of all trades, the one you can bring home to your mother without feeling like it’s not enough. It comes in so many shapes, sizes, and textures that you can never go wrong turning to pasta because it will always give you what you need. I apologize for all the ~saucy~ jokes, but pasta just…does that to us. Here are the blatant signs that we’re getting serious with pasta without ever looking back.
1. Always There When You Call
Like, has pasta ever let you down? Okay, so it isn’t sentient and can’t tell you how much it loves you. Sure. But if you need a quick meal on a $5 budget – one that won’t leave you sad and staring at a cup of noodles you had to buy at a gas station – then pasta is down for you. It will always be there when you need it –lunch, dinner, 2AM – and it’ll actually be good.
2. Always On Time
Yes, I’m making Ja Rule and Ashanti references. Because they apply – you can get pasta ready fast—you don’t need to get ready for three hours or wait twenty minutes for this date to be ready, you feel? No shade to those foods that want to look good for us, but pasta is just…naturally beautiful.
3. You Look Good Together
You can make a dope meal with two ingredients: pasta and literally anything else. Pasta and olive oil. Pasta and lean meat. Pasta and leafy greens. Pasta and you, you and Pasta. Even the worst cook can be a world-class chef with pasta – not to be pushy about you two, but shouldn’t the one you love make you look like you’ve got it going on? Just sayin’.
4. You’re The Couple Everyone Wants To Be
No one can deny the two of you are right for each other because you’re not that annoying couple that is fighting and texting each other while both in the same room. You’re the opposite – you can be around pasta and watch everyone enjoy it and you’re cool. Plus, unlike other foods that are the text-in-the-same-room type – pasta doesn’t hurt anybody. It’s healthy and its made with two simple ingredients, so it’s good for the environment – it’s the nutritional equivalent of the person you can make rude jokes with and bring home to your parents.
5. You’re Your Best Self
Look, I get how cheesy (lol, cheese and pasta, sorry) it is that I’m writing this lovingly about a food. I get that I shouldn’t be rushing you into something if you’re not ready. But I wouldn’t steer you wrong. Pasta is a blank space, baby. You can write your name – you can get creative and mix it with whatever you want (without going crazy in the process.).
You can be yourself—whether that’s the you who’s rushing to eat after work before a date, or the you who’s trying to cook the most simple-yet-elegant-makes-you-look-like-an-Iron-Chef meal of all time. Look: the one thing no one tells you about healthy serious relationships is that they actually do leave you wanting more. So you know how you know you’re in a serious relationship with pasta? Cause you want more…and you can actually have more. Whenever. All the time. Always and forever. Til’ breakfast do you part.