1. She’ll tell you the truth
Whether it’s about your haircut or why South Jersey is a different state than North Jersey, she’ll tell it like it is. People in my home state are “nice” when it comes to life in general, you know: small talk and transactional business. But we don’t feel the need to butter you up and make you feel special just to get you to like us. Jersey is full of likable, pleasant, and polite individuals who will tell you to “fuck right off” if you cross them or make an “armpit of America” joke, and we’ll all have a good laugh, that’s the honest way all people should try to live, really.
2. She knows how to love her haters
People hate New Jersey. They just do. Our place in pop culture is one of reverence and a kind of fearful fascination (read: The Sopranos) aaaaand total judgement and ultimate dismissal (read: the Jersey Shore). No matter what, these girls are used to being called trashy, bitchy, disgusting—any insult a drunk idiot from Wisconsin can throw, they’ve heard it all. She can dismiss hate as hate, she’s not about to get into a bar fight.
3. She will ’06 Bonnie & Clyde with you
Well, if she has to cut a bitch, she will. Verbally. Well, probably verbally? I mean, I’m not advocating for knife fights here, just saying that Jersey girls will help out their near and dears when they’re in a bad spot. I’m just saying that if someone called my innocent-yet-drunk best friend a dumb bitch and threatened to hit her in the middle of a crowd at a Pitbull concert (Pitbull, honestly why?) at Rutgers University in, say, 2011, I might have had to deal with it. Not that it actually happened. I don’t know anything about that.
4. She can hang
She was raised as both a princess and a boss. A cool girl, like many others, she is down to do all the things most girls would do with you anyway, if you asked—watch sports, play video games, eat a bunch of gross food, you know, human things—but you won’t have to ask a Jersey girl. She will show up at your doorstep with three pizzas and twelve friends like “yo, the game’s on and you guys can watch downstairs, right? Because I need to catch up on Scandal”
5. She won’t front
She’s not trying to be cool. She’ll be her honest self, this state breeds women of wonderful contradiction. She contains multitudes, okay? She’s sensitive and rude. Cute and terrifying. A nightmare dressed like a daydream (thanks, Taylor Swift! Love you for that line, even though you’re from Pennsylvania. We forgive you).
6. She’s down to travel
Jersey girls are down to ride—we have the Garden State parkway and the New Jersey turnpike and what feels like 300 other highways that span the entirety of our state. We’re used to getting in the car and going wherever. In fact, our favorite past-time is hitting up Wawa for sandwiches and other snacky ammunition for the longest halls to the shore, New York City, Philadelphia, wherever.
7. She cares about her appearance, but not to a fault
Jersey has a lot of salons. Girls have big hair, that stereotype is true. Some don’t, that truth is also true. And some girls don’t go to salons at all. But your classic Jersey girl has her own particular aesthetic that she keeps up like no other. She cares about specific things, depending on where her loyalties: her hair if she’s prideful, her nails if she’s into having nice things, her boots if she loves her favorite things until they die. She’s not obsessed with looking good, but she will always look exactly the way she wants to look. No compromise.
8. She will upgrade you
Girls from the garden state work with what they find, not with what they’re given. She doesn’t see you as being not worthwhile or in need of help—far from it. Jersey girls see the beauty in the details and appreciate the good what’s already there. They find the things that could be great and they support you in making them greater. You might not start from the bottom with her, but you will definitely end up surprised with how much you’re life has improved, like, “damn, now I am here,” and even a Canadian Drake can be proud of you for that.
9. She has pride and passion
Above all, dating a Jersey girl means that you’re probably with a girl who knows exactly who she is, what she wants, and what she needs to do in order to get it. She’s resourceful and ambitious. She will get to where she needs to go—turnpike traffic and “you’re trash!” be damned, she’s going to the top. You might as well go with her.