1. Not ‘punk’ girl layering
What it was: Above, it is one thing: one tank over a cami with a shelf bra and some ~punk~ accents. In your time, it was all things: layers of camis, henleys, cardigans, flannels, ribbed tank tops. Layers. Layered as hell. Levels to this shit. Layers to this shit. You were just throwing on the camis like it was nothin, cause it was nothin. Just kidding. It was everything. Layers were everything and you wanted to be Ashlee Simpson in the pieces of me video.
What it says about you now: You have several group texts with all your girlfriends and you are the most sarcastic one in each one. Your friends call you a hipster, but you have actual hipster friends who don’t have jobs and shave parts of their head like Skrillex, so you’re like “lol okay guys i am so hip.”
2. A white tank top from American Eagle, a hoodie from h&m, and cigarettes
What it is: You hated American Eagle, but your girlfriend bought you a tank top from there, so you wore it. You got a hoodie from h&m because you were cold and American Eagle was stupid expensive. You also smoked cigarettes, which was cool as hell.
What it says about you now: You still smoke cigarettes. It’s not as cool, but yeah. You still buy tank tops. You still have a hoodie. I don’t know, man. What do these people want from you?
3. ’Track jacket’ and graphic tee
What it was: Wearing that track jacket Seth Cohen wore and buying absolutely everything in the ‘sensitive Death Cab listener who is the first one to wear a beanie in his friend group’ section of American Eagle, which was riiiight by the jewelry. Nudge nudge. Buy the necklace, feelings boy. Buy it.
What it says about you now: You have a job doing something you don’t like that much, but it’s whatever because you’re not working 80 hour weeks at Goldman Sachs so you’re like “eh.” You use #blessed ironically in conversation. Never online. You would never actually use a hashtag. You date girls with blogs. PR girls scare you, so you want to marry one. All of your exes hate you and you kind of get why, but you still drunk text them sometimes. “Like once every three months. Not often. Why do they care so much anyway, then? Maybe she does still love me. Haha. Life. #blessed.”
4. Layered preppy girl polos
What it was: Wearing more than one polo at once and popping the collars. Honestly. Two polos. At once. With popped collars.
What it says about you now: You pledged a sorority and kind of hated it but stuck with it, you really do love your sisters! Even Lauren. You’re actually the only one who listens to Lauren anymore, because she’s kind of an insufferable bitch, but whatever. Nowadays you shop at J Crew and you’re dressed just as well as Lauren Conrad, who you love, but you find her to be kind of basic.
5. Short sleeve graphic tee over a long-sleeved graphic tee
What it is: I mean, yeah. That’s basically it. Guys and girls. Yeah. That was the look.
What it says about you now: You’d still do it, actually. Whatever. On a weekend in, or a trip to Panera to do work on a Sunday or something? Yeah. Who cares? This was kind of a good look for nippy weather, and it was cozy. What happened to all your graphic tees anyway? What did you do with those? The ones that advertised fake ski lodges with sexually undertoned names. That was kind of weird. Didn’t your mom buy you one for Christmas? Ew. Fuck. You never wanted to remember that. Well, whatever. You were probably wearing a graphic tee shirt the day you lost your virginity. Thanks, Mom.