21 Mean Things Sarcastic Girls Say When They’re Actually Trying To Flirt With You

Parks and Recreation
Parks and Recreation

1. “I hate you.”

I love you.

2. *Total silence combined with an eye roll*

Followed by a slight grin that couldn’t be suppressed and the urge to kiss you.

3. “Ha. Funny.”

That was actually really funny but I’m not trying to inflate your ego.

4. “You’re the worst.”

And so am I, wanna make out?

5. “Shut up.”

Keep talking.

6. “Fuck you!”

The conversational equivalent of a playful shove and a smile.

7. “Oh, you’re soooooo *insert overly enunciated positive adjective here!*”

You really are funny, cute, great, and smart, but here is my way of saying I think those things without actually saying that I think them…because that would be weird, right?

8. “Fuck off.”

Text me constantly.

9. “I don’t like you.”

I really like you.

10. “Totally.”

Yeah, that actually sounds about right.

11. “You’re so gross/stupid/lame.”

I think about you all the time and I’m beginning to reaaaallllly freak myself out over here.

12. “Yeah, sure.”


13. “Awwwwwwww.”

This re: an insult to let you know that you’re cutest when you’re mean like me.

14. “I’m the greatest.”

Eh, this isn’t actually sarcasm. But you think so too, right? Riiiiiight.

15. “I don’t care.”

Tell me more, this is something I am sincerely very into, can’t you tell?

16. *Gun emoji*

*Heart eyed emoji*

17. “No.”


18. “I love you sooooo much.”

I reaaaalllllyyyy doooooo annnndddd iiffff I doooo aaa looootttt offff thiiiiissss itttt ssseeeeems like it’s aaaaallllll a big mocckkkkerrrryyyyy!

19. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

Tell me more about that really sweet thing you just said about my face.

20. “Leave me alone forever.”

Come over?

21. “Die.”

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Crissy is a writer living and lol’ing in Los Angeles. She’s on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, for better or worse.

Keep up with Crissy on Twitter and frizzyfilazzo.tumblr.com

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