Christopher Hudspeth and I went a little King, a little Hemmingway, and wrote some very short horror stories about your ex. Here are a few.
1. And then they started walking over.
2. Are you still up right now?
3. We need to talk, he/she said.
4. [INSERT EX’S USERNAME] liked your photo
5. [INSERT EX’S FACEBOOK NAME] is attending
6. Hey, isn’t that him/her over there?
7. You have seven new voicemails from:
8. Connect with [EX’S NAME] on LinkedIn!
9. Don’t look, but he’s coming over.
10. “I miss you, can we talk?”
11. When can I bring your stuff?
12. “Ran into _____, they looked good.”
13. “Wish [EX’s NAME] a happy birthday!”
14. “I saw that you unfollowed me.”
15. *Phone rings* Call from Restricted
16. “Let’s Get Back Together” (Part 5)
17. *Accidentally swipes ex right on Tinder*
18. “Let’s get coffee and catch up?”
19. *Your ex’s favorite song begins playing*
20. *Stops at longest light: THEIR CAR*
21. *Opens wallet for condom: THEIR FACE*