17 Secretly Bizarre Thoughts Overthinkers Have While They Wait For Good News

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While waiting to ‘hear back’ about something that we hope is good news, we almost always find a reason to talk ourselves out of being hopeful. Overthinkers are the Olympians of these mental gymnastics, and we take it one step further by thinking of strange ways that things we do could effect the outcome of the ‘news’…even though we have no power whatsoever over the end result. Here are a few of those thoughts.

1. “Maybe the Internet stopped working and that’s why I haven’t heard back yet. I should check the news.”

2. “What if the original news that got me to this point was all an elaborate prank, and this news isn’t actually real news, and everyone is just laughing at me in a room somewhere?”

3. “I want to meet my friend for a drink and talk about it, but then it will seem like I’m celebrating and the universe will punish me and it will definitely be bad news.”

4. “Should I get dressed up, just in case I get the good news today?”

5. “I probably shouldn’t get dressed up today, I need to save my good outfits for the day that I get the good news, and if I put on good clothes today, then it definitely won’t be today. Casual clothing it is.”

6. “This outfit is way too casual for someone who deserves the thing that I want. The universe is going to punish me for not taking this entire ‘good news/bad news’ thing seriously.”

7. “Do I own anything lucky? Is there anything I can do to have good luck? I guess I could try going to church. But that might be counterintuitive, because the Lord would know I’m sinning and then he would make sure that I do not receive any good news.”

8. “I could go to a fortune teller. What if they tell me that I am going to die?! Or worse, what if they tell me that there’s no good news?”

9. “I’ll just take a quick shower to clear my mind. But if I’m in the shower I won’t hear my phone. I guess I could put my phone on the counter next to the shower and turn the ringer volume up…but then I won’t be able to answer it fast enough and I might not hear the message about the news. I guess I should purchase a LifeProof phone case so that I can take a shower.”

10. “My phone is the problem. If I put my phone away in this drawer for a couple hours, I will take it out and it will be renewed and full of life and good news. Maybe I could get a friend to take my phone and hide it?”

11. “If I went to another time zone, maybe the ‘lag’ or ‘savings’ time would make this whole ‘waiting’ thing blow riiiiiight over.”

12. “I could use some fun right now. Something to distract me from the outcome of this news. I’ll just go online and look up some videos and…hm maybe I will Google a few things related to the thing I am thinking about, just to get it out of my head. Damn that looks interesting, I’ll open that in a new tab and read that later. Oh, wow, that link too. And that one looks like a long read. Tight, new tab.”

13. “Maybe I’ll talk to someone who might know something about the news. Yeah, I’ll text that person just a casual “hello,” something real chill. Weird…it’s been five minutes and I haven’t gotten a text back? Maybe it didn’t send. Should I re-send? Should I call?”

14. “This might be a good time to re-evaluate my priorities and the way I overthink things like this. I wonder if that would effect the outcome of the situation…like in a mind over matter sort of way. What if my uncertainty about my own overthinking is actually the thing that is making this situation so uncertain? I need to read up on this.”

15. “I should call my Mom? Nah. I should text my ex..? Maybe.”

16. “I could just ask my friend to change the password to my email and then I wouldn’t be able to check it so often to see if there’s any news. But then what if they forget the password and then the news is locked away forever? Maybe we could carve the password on a tree for which only we know the exaction. That would probably be the easiest option.”

17. “I want to leave the house, but then I run the risk of getting into some sort of life-threatening situation, and I really don’t want to die before I know whether or not this was all bad news or good news. But I will most definitely die if it’s bad news.”