1. John, 24
We were getting ready for our one year anniversary, I had gotten her some gifts, planned to take her out for dinner and dessert. 45 minutes before we went out, I was tweeted at by a girl who said “hey.” Instantly, I received a text from my girlfriend yelling at me and probing me about who this girl was and if I was cheating on her. 45 minutes before our 1 year anniversary. Talk about insecure, should have broken up with her right then and there.
2. Samantha, 23
During our first fight, he went completely silent and refused to say anything. He just kept pointing to his arm. As it turns out, he had written all of his feelings in permanent marker under his sleeve so that he could dramatically reveal them mid-fight. The worst part? His handwriting was totally illegible.
3. Megan, 25
We were dating and I was at his house. I know this isn’t a real excuse, but I had a file for school saved on his computer and couldn’t find it. As I started to poke around for the file, I stumbled upon a treasure trove of files full of pictures of all my female friends from Facebook. But it wasn’t like these were just cute pictures of me and my friends, they were pictures of my particularly busty friends, some cropped so that you could just see their huge tits. My boyfriend’s spank bank was made up almost exclusively of my best friend’s boobs. And they were all saved in one mega file entitled “Good Picz.”
4. Ahmed, 28
I was dating a girl for a couple months and I knew she had a weird ex-boyfriend, so I pulled a psycho move and checked her texts one time when she asked me to hold her phone. It turns out that they had been texting for a while, and most of those texts focused on how bad he wanted to “fuck her thighs.” Her thighs! The crazy part was that she responded with even weirder stuff, like saying that she wanted to “break his dick” and “make him raw.” I couldn’t look at her as anything but a chafing enthusiast after that.
5. Samantha, 25
I was seeing a very naturally funny guy who also liked to drink a little too much. He was a freshman in college at the time and we were super broke. One time, we all got drunk in our friend’s dorm and he started laughing and saying that he used to whore himself out on Craigslist when he was strapped for cash. Everyone egged him on, and he ended up telling us all the details about these gross middle-aged women that he would charge $100 to get his “full treatment.” The worst part was that he was such a rookie that he forgot to charge up front, which resulted in one of them paying him with two bottles of Vodka. He accepted it.
6. Lucy, 20
One time I saw my boyfriend got a text from his ex-girlfriend, who I knew was a little on the full-figured side, but never thought anything of it. When I went to check the message, I saw a text that red “oh, yeah?” Obviously I was curious and had to see what that was in response to. I went on a crazy search and found a love affair with his ex girlfriend, 600 messages long. He kept telling her how he couldn’t wait to grab her belly and…well, a lot of other shit I won’t get into.
7. Ryan, 22
This was only a first date, but it made it clear to me that she could never be my girlfriend. One time a girl i was on a date with told me that she would trade favors with guys (like, in exchange for stuff she did for them, both sexual and non-sexual) and keep their passports as collateral. She showed me one of the passports. It was so the guy could borrow her car.
8. Cristina, 27
I realized my ex’s cocaine mania was out of control when I caught him trying to sneak snorting lines while he was in the same bed as me.
9. Alex, 19
If sending naked pictures that I didn’t ask for mere hours after we exchanged numbers wasn’t enough of a red flag for me, telling me about how she killed her ex boyfriend and his girlfriend in her dream definitely was.
10. Jeff, 23
We were having sex and she looked me right in the eyes and said “I want to have your babies.” I pulled right out of there, literally and emotionally.
11. Kristin, 26
One time we were driving to the movies and Nirvana came on. He looked at me and said, “do you know why I find you so sexy? Because you remind me so much of Kurt Cobain. I always knew that he would come back to be with me.” I laughed. He didn’t. I told him to pull the fuck over and let me out.
12. Oliver, 20
She revealed that she obsessively watched the entire Gilmore Girls series, the whole damn thing, five times through. She made me do the same thing at least once, but then refused to watch the ‘Lord of the Rings’ trilogy because she found it “boring and repetitive.”
14. Tyler, 23
She scratched my back so hard during sex that I bled, and when I pointed it out, she said “just put your back against my wall tonight while you sleep so that I have the dried blood to remember you by.” Yeah. I don’t know if she wanted my DNA or if she was a weird vampire, but either way, I wasn’t sticking around to find out.
15. Stephanie, 22
I was dating a guy for six months and we were really happy together. He spent a lot of time at my house. One time, I picked up his wallet to pay for our delivery and instead of finding money, I found a wallet sized picture of my mom that he stole from off my dresser. The truly creepy part was that it was a picture of my mom and I of us together, be he folded it so that you wouldn’t see my face.
16. Jibril, 21
We were fighting in the car and pulled up to a stop light. We’d only been dating for a month, but she demanded that I tell her “I love you.” I said I didn’t feel comfortable yet. She put her hand on the door handle and said that she would jump out when the light went green if I didn’t say it. I locked the doors. She then threw the car into park and said that we were not moving until I said it. That was a fun traffic jam to explain to everyone in the cars behind us, including two police officers who asked if I needed to get a restraining order.
17. Elizabeth, 26
Everything was fine until I Googled his name. I found at least 100 videos of him singing show tunes alone in his bathroom, each of which had less than 50 views. I’m sure 45 out of 50 where him watching himself, since he clearly loved to hear his own voice.
18. James, 23
She told me she wanted me to come over so that she could cook for me. When I arrived, she had cooked a meal that included a bunch of dairy stuff. I’m so allergic to milk that I could die if I consume it, so I was like “what the fuck?” She said she thought my reaction to seeing it would be funny. It wasn’t funny, it was basically a death threat.
19. Lara, 28
I was seeing a guy but we were totally casual and I thought we were both seeing other people. We went to the same party one night and he left before me with another girl. I ended up hooking up with the guy who threw the party. About 30 minutes in we hear something, I turn around and there is the fucking guy I was ‘casually dating,’ watching us and crying. Apparently he was stalking me, which was not casual at all.