There is nothing more romantic than finding out that your crush also has a crush on you. But, unfortunately, life is never fair. Most of the time, instead of finding your crush has mutual feelings for you, you end up having an imaginary boyfriend in the image of that very person. Hence, we end up settling for simple glances and romantic dreams and delusions of intimate grandeur with him. We stay in our own world of make believe that “someday” there will be you and him. But do we need to really stay in this imaginary world?
Talking to a guy friend about this has made me realized what we, girls, are doing to repel the most special guy in our lives. Not to have the same mistake again and again, I’m sharing with you some of the obvious things that we unconsciously do that outright push our Mr. Right away from us.
1. Mentioning other boys’ names when you are with him
Admit it or not, we, girls, have this flirty attitude of mentioning someone else’s name when we are around pretty boys. Aside from being a good topic for simple conversations, talking about a handsome guy you met at Starbucks or that cute boy you stalk on Facebook while you are in the company of your crush, gives off a sense of empowerment vibe that we use in an effort to make our crush jealous, and hopefully, within that jealous feeling, is the hidden feeling he has for us. While other guy may indeed feel jealous, and may stir their competitiveness to pursue you, there are still those who will back off.
A man feels secure when he knows that a potential girl partner is very much available. A man knows when to back off when you continuously mention your childhood crush when you are with him. Men are simple minded (in a good sense). They will believe whatever you say to them and won’t even dare think of the hidden meaning in your actions or statements. So stop mentioning your long lost love. Instead, mention how good of a guy he is and how a girl will be so lucky to have him as a boyfriend.
2. Not showing him your weak side
Empowered and independent lass are indeed attractive. However, it is in the genetic makeup of men to protect women. No matter how, empowered, independent and confident we are, we should also show our weak side to men. Give them a chance to open that door for us, or pull that chair, or pay that bill. Let them play the knight-in-shining-armor-who-saves-the-princess role they’ve been dreaming to do since they were a kid.
There is nothing wrong about being a confident and independent woman. However, sometimes our actions as empowered women, unconsciously over power them. If we don’t give them the opportunity to help us, they will get the idea that we don’t need them in our life. And remember, there is nothing wrong about him seeing you crying. Seeing you sad, will instinctively make him very protective and caring, which is what we’ve wanted him to do in the first place, right?
3. Being grumpy and forgetting to smile
I know we have our own bad days that make smiling really hard. But if we want to make a good impression to our Mr. Right, we should always greet him with a cute and sweet smile. However, just be careful. Have a unique smile only for him so he won’t be confused that you are just being friendly with everyone. Remember that smiling, never fails. It can brighten your day and perhaps your love life.
4. Blabbering things that give him the idea that you are off limits
There is nothing more awkward than get teased with your crush. You tried very hard to escape the situation to avoid any pre-emptive confessions. And in our effort to escape from this awkwardness that might bury us in shame, we end up saying things like, “That’s ridiculous! WE are just friends!”, or “That’s impossible, friends are friends.” or “You don’t dig friends.” or something along those lines.
Even though, it was not our intention to say those things, we cannot unsay it. And hearing it straight from us, will give him an idea that we are already off limits and that pursuing something in the future with us, is next to impossible. So avoid saying things that you don’t really mean. You don’t have to say anything just to go out of that situation. Just shut up and smile and show to everyone that you are totally cool with it. And who knows, with your cool and cute reaction, he might consider the tease a good go.
*This article is dedicated to a special friend of mine, who is always generous to share her ideas, feelings and experiences with me.