I Wish I Knew The Girl Who Made You So Guarded


I wish I knew you. I wish I knew the both of you before it crashed down upon you. You wouldn’t have to know me, I just wish to know you from third person, an anonymous, blind observer. Through a rosy window I would get to know you, why he loved you. But of upmost importance, I would get to know him.

I would get to see him smile without second guessing my intentions.
I would get to see him laugh without something holding him back. I would get to see those deep blue eyes without scaling his ever abundant walls, built higher as time passed. I would get to see his time, his investment into someone, so untamed and untarnished.

But now, I see those same blue eyes, but with walls erected and fortified. I see those same blue eyes, surrounded with small wrinkles, the ones from laughing until you cry; but now those wrinkles are weathered away, not having seen a genuine laugh in utterly too long. I see those same blue eyes, but now they’re jaded, second guessing the smile, the beaming emotion they once held.

I see past those jaded blue eyes. There’ll be a certain moment of the day, us entwined on a lazy Sunday afternoon, morning breath and matted hair, a moment where I see a tiny glimpse of the once unguarded blue eyes.

One day, I know I will see a longer stent of the pure you, but until then, know that I live for those moments. I live for the moments when our eyes meet, we lock gazes until one of us looks away, when I see that person you once were.

I envy her, the one who hurt you so badly, before you were jaded, before you were broken. I can’t promise that I will fix you, I just promise to hold each of your pieces close to my own. This way, maybe our pieces will become an amalgam, we will make each other whole. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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