Two Years Too Long

By

Just two years ago it all began –
Within the span of 2 years, I went to heaven and hell and back again.
I fell in love with everything about you and this whole new life with you.

Yet just two years ago, it was only just the beginning – everything so new, so interesting, so fun
Enamored by this whole new way of life,
The fact that I was capable of being liked by someone else,
Someone so new, so out of reach,
It was flattering

I could escape the everyday routine of my sucky life
It made me feel like on top of the world

I could fall in love with someone again,
I wasn’t scarred for life by my past breakup…

But as a matter fact, I was.
Looking for something that couldn’t be made with anyone else,
something that had to be found on its own,
Within myself.

I did not know this,
I thought I was doing everything right.

All I wanted was some fun times,
But do any of us really know what we’re getting ourselves into when we enter into a relationship??

It was something I did not want again,
But at the same time, yearned for the attention.

And with that, how can one avoid complexity??

Within 2 years, I got to know you on a level deeper than any other,
But at the same time, did you ever really know me? Cause I don’t think I even know me myself.

I thought I knew what I wanted, but it was all just an illusion,
just reflection of what you wanted yourself.

Within 2 years, I became a part of you, a part of your family, I became your world.
And you became a big part of mine,

And now 2 years later, it’s like I never even knew you.

I’m sorry I could never be the soul mate you were looking for.
Sorry I could never give you all that you deserved.
I’m sorry that I drug you into my own problems, my own need for healing.

Within 2 years, we became each other’s’ worlds, yet just as quickly, built a world of our own.

Just 2 years ago, it was all the beginning, of a journey that I did not see coming.
A journey that showed me how to love again, showed me the beauty of everything, and then ended in finally finding myself.

Though the journey did not end in a fairytale for us, at least I finally found me again.