I know I’m a little late to be jumping into the “YouTubers coming out of the closet” conversation, but Ingrid Nilsen’s recent vid has me concerned with the well being of our planet Earth. Well, not the actual video. The actual video is magnificent and glorious and you can practically see a physical weight transpire and walk off from her shoulders at the 41-second mark. Like those weird shadowy spirit phantom things from the classically underrated love saga Ghost, but without Patrick Swayze.
ANYWAY, the comment section has me legit worried. Now this isn’t my first rodeo, I know this is the area of the interwebs where trolls go to do trolly things and I must say that mostly, there’s an enormous amount of genuine support under this vid (wait seriously, we are civil human beings and have the ability to be anonymous and nice? Progress.) But there’s also – duh – a prevalent amount of heteronormative slurring, some blessings from JC and the Lord for her safety in the afterlife, and every other kind of weird/offensive/backhanded thing you would expect to find here. There was one particular type of comment though that gave me a serious case of oh sweetie, no but also had me like fuuuccckkk, really? Is this an actual question?
But you’ve dated guys, so you can’t be gay?
I just want to pretend for a second that I’m not a California born and raised liberal and that I don’t know – my weirdo parents decided to abandon ship and procreate in like the middle of Wyoming instead. Maybe (this is a rather large maybe) but maybe I would ask this too? I can’t be sure. Most of these kinds of comments don’t feel ill intended. They feel lost. And confused. So I just wanted to take this opportunity to speak with my preteen and middle aged housewives/businessmen in the middle of Chugwater, Wyoming. This one’s for you. I’m going to give it to you straight (LOL PUNS). Guess what, honey? You can date the opposite sex and still be gay. Or bisexual. Or neither. You can even date the same sex and be STRAIGHT (wwhhhaatt?!). Or gay. Or neither. Because, actually, you can date whoever the fuck you want and you can be whoever the fuck you want.
I know at this point you’re all like LOL that’s CUTE – this straight SJW speaking up for her ignorant “lessers”, trying to show them the light, etc., etc. Thinks she’s better than everyone, watches YT Beauty Gurus for sport. Abbreviates YT.
Put that all aside for just one second and focus your rolling eyes long enough to hear me on this part. We are on the precipice of change, my friends, but we can’t forget that we still have aeons to go. It’s not reason enough to throw in the towel but it’s also not quite reason enough to sit back and relax. The hardest part is here. The part where we let a sister know about how this big gay/possibly not gay world of ours works if she’s honestly confused. Because not until people understand what’s going on will they be able to chill the fuck out so we can drop the thing and have it no longer be a thing. Not until we are able to put the convo on the table will everyone be like yeah okay, that exists. Sexuality isn’t black and white, and it’s not weird now. It’s normalized.
Where we are right now? It’s not perfect. It’s not even close. But it’s a start. And like anything good and important, it’s going to take some time for people to hop on board. Or die off. Whatever comes first. Instead of fighting back, I encourage you to help your fellow, wandering humans out. Show ‘em the ropes. Answer their ignorant questions with grace and humility. And then you know what…maybe the things that concern me (see: above) won’t be so concerning anymore. I can feel it already, actually. Right now, at this very moment, your future, future children are the face of everything that your great-great uncle had to hide about himself. You did that. Doesn’t it feel good?