Every woman has, at some point in her life, longed for the “perfect relationship.” We have dated loser after loser and yet, we have been keeping the winner on the bench since the dawn of time. He is… the male best friend.
As a woman who finally called her male best friend up to the big leagues and turned a friendship into a relationship, I can’t help but wonder, “What the hell took me so long?” Why is it that women keep some guys in the “friend zone,” rather than giving them a chance? After lots of thought, I can’t even think of a logical explanation for the phenomenon. All I could think of were pros which, hopefully, make women rethink that guy they’ve been keeping in the friend zone for so long.
1. He has seen you at some of your lowest moments and has stuck around.
Whether you were sobbing uncontrollably over your favorite chick flick, puking in a bush after one too many margaritas, or on your deathbed with the flu, he has seen them all and didn’t run for the hills. Most boyfriends get annoyed when they have to hold your hair back as you puke and will never understand why The Notebook makes you weep like an infant, but your guy friend understands, or at least pretends he does. While he might poke fun at you, he means well, and it’s his way of saying that you guys have a comfortable enough relationship that you can do these things.
2. You can eat around him!
This is one of my favorites because, admit it, at the beginning of every relationship a lot of women are too shy to really eat in front of a guy. We order the salad when we really want a greasy burger because we don’t want to look messy and “un-ladylike” around a guy. Meanwhile, your guy friend has seen you eat a pint of ice cream by yourself, or go back for a third helping of pasta and make a complete mess while eating buffalo wings. You have become so comfortable around each other that you don’t care what he thinks about your eating habits. You don’t feel the pressure to impress him because you still haven’t seen him as “boyfriend material.”
3. You can look like a complete slob and they still think you’re beautiful.
My current best friend-gone-boyfriend first met me when I was in a baggy t-shirt, basketball shorts, disheveled hair and no make-up and he still told his roommate he thought I was cute. Your guy friend has seen you both dressed up and chilling in your sweats and could not care what you look like either way. Again, you feel comfortable enough around your guy friend that there is no pressure to dress up every time you see him and a relationship will not change his opinions on your looks.
4. No awkward judging phase.
At the beginning of every relationship, there is that awkward “getting to know you” phase. This is one of the hardest parts because a lot of us have things we don’t like sharing right off the bat. We’re afraid of the other person judging us. Meanwhile, your guy friend has heard them all and never judged you for a minute because you’re so close and you being able to confide in each other just made the friendship stronger.
5. Every quirk your ex hated about you, he loves.
Whether it’s your obnoxious laugh, your inability to make a decision, the fact the volume in your car must always be set to an even number, etc., he might laugh at them, but he loves them. He might not understand them, but you’re one of his best friends and he wouldn’t change them for anything.
6. Everything you complained that your boyfriend or ex didn’t do, he does.
We all complain to our guy friend about how our boyfriend never listens to us, shows he cares, or wants to go out. Meanwhile, guy friends do all of those things. Whether we vent to them about a crappy day at work or the fight we had with our parents, they’ve been there to listen. They’ve brought us coffee when we were having a bad day at work or just lent us a shoulder to cry on. They’ve been there and will continue to be there for you no matter what.
So there you have it, ladies. Rethink why you’re keeping that guy friend in the friend zone while striking out with loser after loser. At the end of the day, your guy friend will always be there for you and isn’t that what we want out of our relationships anyway? Someone who will always be there for us?