In the end, you’ll overcome this. Even though this mountain is bearing down on you. Even though it’s a master of intimidation. You eventually will be able to triumph over it. The further you walk away from it, the smaller it looks. Your perception changes. And perception is everything when it comes to overcoming battles in an effort to win the war. You want to win the war. You don’t want to be pinned down, buried beneath animosity and hostility. You want a resolution, but sometimes it only comes from turning the other direction or standing your ground or maybe a healthy combination of both.
Because in the end, everything we face is surmountable. Think of all the times you faced adversity already. Think of all the Friday nights you spent with your head buried in a pillow or the Monday mornings where it seemed impossible even to get out of bed. The people you shook hands with that rattled your sense of security. The fear that nibbled on your intestines as you waited for the doctor to come out of the room with good news. Remember how crippling that fear was? Remember how devastating those words, that breakup ended up feeling? How many times did you cry yourself to sleep or unintentionally starve yourself because food lacked taste? Salt was better poured in your wounds than on your pasta salad (who puts salt on pasta salad, anyway?).
The main point I’m making is that you’ve been in this situation many times before. And sure, maybe what you’re facing right now is nothing like that other thing. Maybe it’s worse. Maybe there’s more at stake. Maybe you’re older now and wiser to how drastically your life can change. But that doesn’t mean the end result won’t still be the same: That you will get through this. Molehills always look like mountains when you’re up close and personal with them.
In the end, you’ll overcome this not because that’s what genuinely will happen but because you’re going to try. You’re going to try by swinging your legs over the side of the bed this morning. You’re going to try by brushing your teeth and running a comb in your hair. You’re going to try by forcing yourself to do the next right thing, the thing you must do, whatever it is, regardless of how impossible even the most minuscule tasks might feel.
At least you’re going to try to answer the phone and be vulnerable and recognize that you can’t deal with everything on your own. Your time will come when all of this will feel easier, because the way you handle it has gotten easier. And sometimes that’s what actually matters—your approach to how you tackle this. Things like grief and heartbreak aren’t easy to get over. Fear is not easy to get over. It’s not something we just brush to the side or sweep under the rug; it’s something that drives us and holds us back. It’s our biggest motivator and competition. And right now, when you’re dealing with whatever you’re dealing with, fear is involved in some way. Even if it’s just the fear that this will never be over.
But it will. Because you’re trying right now. You got out of bed. You got dressed. You forced a smile to the outside world, and guess what? Maybe that forced, impossible smile made someone else’s day who’s going through a dark patch just like you. While life isn’t about smiling your way through or faking it until you make it, there’s something to be said about going out and doing the hard thing until it doesn’t feel as hard anymore.
Sometimes it’s going to feel impossible. Sometimes you’re going to want to slip the covers back over you and sleep the day away. Sometimes you’re going to feel angry and frustrated. Sometimes you’re going to victimize yourself by asking why all this bullshit comes to you and seemingly to no one else. But you’re not alone in what you’re dealing with. Not in the slightest.
In the end, this terrible moment will become a terrible moment you look back on. You’ll grow from this, even if it’s not something you want to happen. You’ll come out stronger on the other end, more equipped to overcome the next bad thing that gets thrown your way. Because guess what? Life is full of bad shit we get tossed on almost a daily basis. We get screamed at by customers on the phone or while driving on our way to work. We get insulted on the internet by trolls trying to “educate” us on being better human beings. We get told by friends and family that we’re not always good enough and we wrestle with the idea that maybe we’re not as loyal or as steadfast as we once believed. All of it, in all its nasty glory is part of life. And all of it, even the messiest parts, are something you’re able to overcome.
You just have to realize it.