1. The end of the year doesn’t mean anything if you don’t do what you need to in order to change your current situation. There’s always so much hope for a new beginning. Today is your new beginning. Today can be your fresh start.

2. If you learned anything this year, I hope it’s that you don’t owe anyone an explanation or justification for how you choose to live your life.

3. You do not need to belittle your beliefs anymore. When you disagree with someone, that’s okay. You don’t have to cater to someone else’s identity if you’re forging your own. You have opinions, goals, and past experiences. Let the world know!

4. Don’t take ownership for everything. Case and point: I started feeling guilty for not visiting my dad for nearly a month. But, he has a car. He chose not to prioritize visiting me just as I chose not to prioritize visiting him.

5. Analyze your friendships in 2020. Just because you have a history with someone, doesn’t mean that you have to force the relationship to thrive if it has already started to die. Friendships are meant to bring us joy – not judgment, anger or resentment. Girl/Boy, bye.

6. I hope you start to value your time more. So much of our time is exploited by obligation. You do not need to explain to anyone why you don’t want to go to their party, Thanksgiving dinner, Sunday dinner, or weekend getaway. You have every right to spend your free time as you see fit, regardless of how someone else reacts.

7. One lesson I hope you take into the new year is that you’re capable of handling the complexities that life throws you. But, you do not have to manage them by anyone else’s expectations. Your trauma is not their trauma, so don’t compare.

8. That goal you have – the one that crossed your mind as you read this sentence – is not going to see itself to fruition. If you want this upcoming year to mean anything, then start working on your goals tonight. Start small. Write one sentence, one lyric. Do one Google search for how to get started. Do SOMETHING.

9. Don’t fall into the trap of stereotypical New Year’s resolutions. A new year isn’t about joining a gym or learning a new craft or trying to say “fuck” less. A new year is just another year that you’re going to spend daydreaming about what the next year will bring and making yourself the same empty promises.

We thrive off planning, not doing. What brings you happiness? Who are you with when you’re at your MOST creative? What city do you keep thinking about when someone asks you where you’d like to move? Stop. Putting. Your. Life. On. Hold. And stop putting it on hold for dumb reasons, like losing weight and learning to speak another language. That’s not really what you want and you know it.

10. If you have to make excuses for a guy or justify that he’s “just not into labels,” DUMP. HIS. ASS. In 2020, I hope for the love of God, you start developing some dignity, some self-worth and the reminder that you are not what some trash bag guy makes you believe. You will find love. Even if that love has to first be found within oneself.