15 Hilarious Signs Your Biological Clock Is Seriously Fucking With You

woman holding baby
Josh Willink

1.

You: I’m not ready for kids right now. I still have so much more left to accomplish…

Your Uterus: Aw, look at that adorable baby picture from this girl I went to college with and have never talked to in my entire life. I have to comment on every single one of her pictures of this cute baby.

2.

You’ve legitimately hit an age where your friends are getting pregnant…on purpose and you don’t immediately freak out over how many Friday nights you’ll be missing together. Instead, you’re like, uh, happy?

3.

You see said baby and think to yourself, “Yeah, I could do this. Look at these little feet. And toes. And oh my god – did she just poop herself?”

4.

You have an entire Pinterest page dedicated to pregnancy announcements.

5.

…That you add to regularly.

6.

You find it very attractive when your partner starts talking about starting a family. GET IN MY PANTS RIGHT NOW, GOOD SIR.

7.

You actually have a “cradle list” of the big things you want to get out of the way before you start conceiving.

8.

…and then you take that list and revamp it because you don’t *need* to write that bestselling novel right now. You’re pretty positive motherhood will give you lots to talk about anyway.

9.

You couldn’t resist buying something for your non-existent nursey, and even further non-existent baby and you use the excuse, “Well, if I didn’t get it, they would have probably been sold out by the time we tried for kids anyway…”

10.

You find that toddler’s temper tantrum in the lobby of the doctor’s office oddly amusing because now apparently, kids can do no wrong.

11.

You fully support the judgements you make about others’ parenting styles because you’ve actually begun to think about it. While you know you’ll have a lot to learn, you already have a basic knowledge of what you will and will not tolerate.

12.

You’re constantly holding your friends’ baby when you guys go out. Their baby has basically become your accessory for the evening and you’ve got no complaints.

13.

You kind of secretly hope that people assume you’re the child’s mother on different outings so you can say just once, “aw thank you,” when someone compliments their behavior.

14.

You now relate to every single parent figure on every show you watch. “Like, no Catherine, you’re 16 and your dad knows what’s best for you – so go upstairs and put some clothes on!” Also refer to #11 on this list.

15.

And finally, you genuinely want to become a parent, and that in itself, is pretty freakin’ awesome. You go, guys. Look how much you’ve grown.TC mark

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