I have yet to meet you, but you have been on my mind quite a bit lately. There are some things I want you to know-about me, about life, about my hopes for our future.
I’m currently a struggling college student, trying to build a life for myself. Life is pretty busy, but I’ve wanted to write you for awhile, which brings me to my first point:
I promise to make time for you.
Whether you’re three and wanting to host a tea party or seventeen and wanting to gush about the cute boy that picked you up for a date Friday night. I’m here for you.
I promise to be emotionally available to you.
When you’re heartbroken and you feel alone in it, I will share my own heartbreak stories so you will know everyone goes through it, even your Wonder Woman of a mom. If you see me crying, I will reassure you that strength lies in tears and everyone has vulnerable moments and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or that you have a terrible life. It’s okay to have emotions and I will do my best to teach you that.
I promise to learn all I can about motherhood even before you are born.
I’ll even take that promise a step further and say that I will learn what you need from me specifically as I know that no one child is just like another one. I will do what it takes to learn all about you, your needs, etc. so I know what I can give you as a mother that will truly benefit you, not just what will make me feel good about myself. I will learn about not only having a healthy mother daughter relationship, but a fun one as well.
I promise to be your parent, then your friend.
I will guide you through this life and correct you when necessary, but I promise to catch you doing things right as well. I will be your constant and the truest, most supportive friend you’ll find. Of course, this does not mean I’ll be crashing your parties with your own girlfriends and try to act much younger than I am (never let me be THAT mom, please), but any time you just need girl time with your mom, I’m there. I’ll listen to all your struggles and dreams and do my best to only give advice when you ask for it.
I promise to not control you.
As you grow older, it may be hard for me to hand the reigns to you, but understand it’s simply because I was put on this earth to look out for you and I would rather die than abandon that responsibility. As you start to spread your wings, my instinct may be to control and contain you to keep you safe-I promise to keep that in check. Understand it has to do with ME, my fears, my worries, NOT YOU. You need to find you and how to do life your way and I promise to let you do just that. I can’t wait to watch you change the world.
I promise to teach you about your body.
Before I had the right mom in my life, I was so self-conscious about my body. I will make sure to pass on the sense of confidence about my body your grandmother helped me find. Do not let the other girls at school or the bad boys tell you how your body should look. Love your body before you let anyone else do so. Be comfortable in your own skin.
I promise to teach you about love.
The real, raw, messy, beautiful kind of love. That’s the kind worth fighting for, babe. I’ll teach you about not settling and how it’s so worth the wait. When you find that kind of love, you’ll just know. It’s hard to explain right now, but I promise it will just make sense to you and you’ll start doing things about it that don’t make sense to anyone else-that’s when you’ve got it. Never settle in relationships-romantic or friendship. There will be days when the waiting sucks and you’re thinking you’ll have to settle-don’t. It will happen for you, I swear.
I promise to help you find your confidence.
The kind of confidence that makes you believe in yourself. Be unafraid to share your passions with the world. Keep growing into the truest version of yourself. Stand up for what you believe in. Find your security and remember it when the insecurities try to surface. I’ll teach you a little secret too-being secure in yourself and loving yourself does not require stepping on other’s insecurities or hating other people.
I promise to teach you from my mistakes.
I’ll teach you how people pleasing hides the real you. I’ll teach you to keep your feelings and self-worth in different places-it will save you a ton of heartache. I’ll tell you all the ways I messed up so you have the opportunity to do better than I did.
I promise you will always know I love you.
I’ve waited so long for you, baby girl. I do not take this honor of being your mother lightly-this is for life. I can’t promise it won’t annoy you or embarrass you, but I promise you’ll know your mom loves you so stinkin’ much.