As a woman, nothing is more important to me than female friendship. It’s hard for me to remember a time where I didn’t relate to other girls. My mom still tells the story of my first day of Kindergarten and my goal to make as many friends as possible. My first target, a crying little girl named Lauren, became my first friend. My mother says she saw me walk up to her, kneel down, and say, “Hi. I’m Courtney. Don’t cry. Do you want to be friends?” She instantly brightened up and stopped crying. We then made our rounds and introduced ourselves to everyone else in the classroom.
Fast forward to years later, in high school, where all girls seem to think that other girls are trying to steal their boyfriends. All of these friendships that were probably thriving in middle school are now over because your crush asked your friend to the dance. Who are you mad at? The girl. Why? Because you now see her as competition. Even if your friend says no, you will still probably hate her. You might not truly hate her but you will find your reasons.
This is still happening. It happened in college and it’s definitely still happening now. You despise the girl because she got the job instead of you, you can’t stand the friend who just got into a happy relationship, and you might have problems with the pretty girl that one of your guy friends brings to a party. Why? Jealousy. It’s a bitch.
My favorite place in the entire world is the women’s bathroom at a club. Everyone is dressed up, drunk, and feeling nice as hell. I’m serious. Go into a bathroom at a club and at LEAST one girl will compliment something about you. Why can’t we be like that all the time? It really is a strange phenomenon. If I was to meet these girls in any other circumstance, I don’t know if I would get the same treatment. But seriously, God bless the bathroom at the club.
Instead of comparing yourself to literally every woman you come across, get to know her. I guarantee the beautiful girl you are intimidated by is not that different from you. She probably looked in the mirror that night and wondered if her winged eyeliner looked like shit. She probably has a guy who isn’t texting her back that she went on a date with last week and she’s upset about it. We all have insecurities so never forget that.
Oh, another thing. You know the girls who say they only have guy friends because girls are “too much drama?” Just stop. Last weekend, I was introduced to a girl who said this and I tried to open up to her. I couldn’t. She wouldn’t let me. That’s when I realized where the truth lies.
Let’s stop seeing other women as a threat and more as an ally. We have a lot more in common than you realize.