1. She has probably already assembled that kitchen table you both ordered on Amazon last night.
She chose overnight delivery for a reason. She wants it done and is not going to wait for you to show up with your handy toolbox. She has her own tools and knows how to read the instruction manual. Look how great her TV stand has been holding up without your assistance. She acknowledges that two heads are better than one, but also what can be done now does not have to be put off until later or until a man is present.
2. She is not afraid of going to a social gathering solo.
She does not need someone to hold her hand while she chats with other couples at a party. She would love the company, but if you had to bow out at the last minute, you bet she’d still put her party hat on.
3. She enjoys running errands by herself.
She looks forward to the quiet time she gets to spend during her weekly trips to the grocery store, the bank, and whatever else is on the to-do list. Having someone sitting in the passenger seat is nice, but chores can get done much faster and more efficiently when she has the seat available for her purse.
4. Her home is her oasis.
She has spent a lot of time perfecting the lighting and décor in her apartment to give it the homey feeling it embodies today. She has gotten down on her hands and knees on a weekly basis to make sure the bathtub is clean and the floors are swept. She knows when the sheets need to be changed on the bed and when the food in the fridge has reached its expiration date. She has everything down to a routine and it works for her. It will be hard for her to share her space, so respect that you may need to ease into it at first.
5. The gym is her home away from home.
When she is not nestled up on the couch with you watching a movie, chances are she is getting her sweat on. Nightly yoga classes or gym sessions is how she winds down from a long day, and she won’t trade that for anything. It is the only thing that keeps her grounded, and she enjoys the way it makes her feel. Don’t try to interrupt her routine because oftentimes the gym will win.
6. She thrives in the workplace.
She always has her eye on the prize and is thinking about how to move up in her career. She is where she is professionally due to hard work and dedication and is always looking for ways to improve. Scoring that dream job will never be good enough for her because she will always be yearning for more. She is not going to compete with you in terms of salary or professional status, but she will also never sit out on the sidelines.
7. She is too proud to ask for help.
She has learned to budget her money pretty well, but if it came down to it, she will never tell you she needs help financially. She will do everything in her power to stay above water and won’t accept anything you offer her. Don’t be hurt when she rejects your assistance, for she would rather you give the money to someone really in need.
8. She can walk home by herself.
Her friends will always worry about her when she opts to walk home from the bar instead of leaving with the group, but they know that they won’t be able to stop her. When she is ready to call it a night, she won’t wait for anyone to accompany her. She’ll promise to text them when she arrives safely at home and she’ll share her location on her phone, but she’d always rather leave on her own. She’ll appreciate if you left with her, but don’t be surprised if she pulls an Irish exit before last call.
9. She may forget to check in with you on her plans.
She’s so used to doing her own thing that she may forget that she has a partner to coordinate outings with. She’s saying this because it has happened before. She assumes that you will have other plans or be open to going along with her plans that it will escape her mind to consult you first. She’s working on getting better at this, but she may need a gentle reminder that you want to be included in what she does and that you may have something up your sleeve as well.
10. She’ll have trouble admitting when she’s not okay.
She says that she’s fine so often that she convinces herself that everything is okay, even when it is obviously not. She’ll cry in the shower or tucked under the covers, but never in public where others can see her falling apart. She’s not cutting you out, she’s just not used to opening up to others. Give her time and show her that you care what she is going through and she will eventually come to you.
11. She may not answer your texts right away.
She’s not ignoring you. Most likely she is immersed in a good book or frantically typing away on her keyboard with a story idea she doesn’t want to escape her in the moment. She will get back to you as soon as she comes up for air and you have her full attention. She’ll understand if you don’t answer back immediately after she presses send. You both have your own lives going on and she appreciates you not holding her back from doing what she loves to do.
12. She has her own hobbies and passions.
Whether it be yoga, writing, or playing on her indoor volleyball team, she had a whole life before you entered the picture. She filled her time with other things that made her happy, and she is not going to stop doing these things because she found you. She may invite you along or schedule some time after to hang out, but remember that the things she enjoys doing are part of what makes her feel whole. They cannot be replaced with a significant other.
13. She is happy with who she is.
She has done a lot of soul searching and discovering herself over the years, and she is happy with the person she has become. She loves the relationships she has with her family and friends and feels satisfied in the life she has created for herself. Don’t ever try to change any part of her or offer unwanted advice. If she admits to you that she is not happy in an area of her life, then pass on your words of wisdom—but only if she asks to hear it.
14. Her family will be protective.
Keep in mind, she hasn’t brought a plus one to Christmas dinner in a couple of years. She incessantly tells her family how she is perfectly happy being single and is not focused on dating right now. So when they do meet the person who has won her heart, they will be very protective of their baby girl. Be strong and know that they care about her more than anything. If Dad cracks a beer with you, you are in.
15. She does not need you in her life.
Know that she did not call you to unclog the shower drain, or repair the dishwasher. She does not need you to fix her car or reach a jar off the top shelf. She pays for her own drinks and is perfectly content without a plus one at her office holiday party. She does not need you in her life, but she wants you in it. She wants to spend her weekends with you and share stories with you. She wants to hear about your day and get to know your friends. She wants to snuggle up with you at night talking until you both fall asleep in each other’s arms. She wants to spend her life with you, but she does not need you to fulfill her life. That she already has covered.