Dating sucks. I’m not going to sugarcoat it and I think everyone would agree with this sentiment. However, in honor of the holiday spirit, here is my list of dating resolutions for 2019. And don’t worry, I’ve checked it twice.
1. Let’s be more active on the apps. Yes, they’re brutal. It’s totally shopping for a soulmate and having buyer’s remorse after every failed date, but get a grip. Laziness is unproductive. Netflix, chill, and swipe!
2. Be open-minded. Bummer—they don’t check all of your boxes. Choose someone completely unexpected. Step outside your comfort zone. I’ve met some fascinating people. Sure, they’re not my husband now, but they got me into the Viper Room for free.
3. Don’t be such an education snob. I attended grad school too. I get it. Lest we forget, Mark Zuckerberg dropped out of Harvard to invent Facebook.
4. Stop being Shallow Hal. Quit asking girls for more photos, especially “full-body” images. That’s just in poor taste. And on the flip side, ladies let’s be a little more accurate with our pics. We aren’t all rocking our spring break bikini bods post-college. No more catfishing in 2019!
5. Be real with your intentions. Don’t lead someone on. If you’re using the app purely for hooking up, great, but make certain you’re upfront about that. Don’t waste anyone’s time.
6. Consistency is key. If you say you’re going to go out with someone, follow-up. Schedule an actual date and make a plan. Don’t leave the other person guessing. Nobody is that busy unless dating isn’t a priority to you in which case read #5 again.
7. No more pen pals. I’m a writer and I don’t want to go back and forth with you. Let’s not have a first date via text. Take it offline. Grab drinks or coffee and see if you mesh.
8. Stop being creepy. We don’t want to footage of down below. Trust me. RETURN TO SENDER. Prove chivalry is not dead.
9. Games are for children. Nobody has time for them as adults. Don’t play with people’s emotions or hearts. It’s cruel. Start being genuine and stop being childish. SORRY!
10. Ghosting is so 2018. It’s lame, rude, and not cool. Be honest with someone. They will appreciate it much more. If you’ve been dating long enough, you should be able to handle rejection. Cast your ego aside.
11. Everyone stalks, but don’t judge a book by its cover photos. Keep in mind social media is a façade. And when you probe a “mutual friend” for information know your audience. They might be full of shit.
12. Familiarity can be comfortable. Just because you knew someone in high school doesn’t mean they are the same exact person they are now. Give people the benefit of the doubt.
13. Don’t open the ex-files too soon. It shows you’re not over it. Take time to heal from your previous relationship, so you don’t bring that baggage into your next. Every new partner deserves a clean slate.
14. This is an empowering time for women. We’re badasses. We’re fierce. So, if you do take a gal out, actually court her. There is nothing sexier than a man who opens doors, has impeccable manners, and knows how to treat a lady.
15. “Hi” is a weak opener on both ends. Let’s be a little more creative than the generic, “How was your weekend? Any big plans?” I promise the response rate will increase if you anti-up your hand.
16. Don’t put an emoji over your ex’s face. I assume you shared a bed at one point, therefore have a little more respect. And if you’re not completely divorced or have kids, a heads-up would be nice. We don’t need the intricate details, but clarity helps.
17. Stick to light topics of conversation. Politics is a no-fly zone at this juncture. You can also tell a lot about a person by what books they read (if they read), music they enjoy, or shows they watch. Listen more to what people are willing to share.
18. Doctor, lawyer, teacher, real-estate broker, startup tech entrepreneur, coal miner, whatever your occupation is, OWN IT. We don’t want to stalk your LinkedIn profile to see if you’re really a dentist. And if you are—Yasss!!! I totally floss!
19. And finally … always remember you are worth the wait. There is someone out there who is going to thank their lucky stars you swiped right too. You just have to believe it. Have faith in yourself and, dare I say it, a little more in dating. You really never know…
Who’s ready to conquer dating this year? Bring it, 2019! We’re all only one swipe away!