24 Things I’ve Stopped Caring About At 24

In four days I will have orbited the sun 24 times. It’s time for me to reflect and pass along my wisdom. Grab some popcorn.
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1. What anyone from high school is doing now. If it were not for Facebook, I would not know if any of these people were still living. 

2. “Shouldn’t you have moved out of your parents house by now?” Two words: Rent free. 

3. The latest weight-loss fad. For the love of god stop telling me how awesome kale is. You know what’s a miracle food? Pizza. 

4. Trying to get everyone’s approval. Can I please just wear the same yoga pants three days in a row and not be judged?

5. Being on every social media site. What even is a tumblr? What is the purpose of a hashtag?  STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I’M A 64 YEAR OLD GRANDMA!

6. I’m not an “adult”, and I hope I never will be. It’s overrated. If you need me, I’ll be over here watching cartoons and eating animal crackers. 

7. Whether or not a certain article of clothing is okay for my “body type”. If it fits, is comfortable, and makes me feel pretty, I’m wearing it. Rules of fashion be damned. 

9. Going to bars. Let me just save myself $50 and a headache by just staying home and watching Netflix. 

10. That I still browse the “teen” section in bookstores. That’s where I met Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

11. The fact that I’m going to gain five pounds from cake and ice-cream. Bring it on.

12. Offending people. Someone right now is offended by the fact that I don’t care that I offend them.

13. Arguing over the internet. Everyone loses. 

14. Attending concerts. Because the only thing I hate worse than sweating is being crammed in an auditorium with several other people who are also sweating. 

15. Respecting my elders. Fuck that. Sometimes old people are assholes.

16. I get less and less presents each year. I’m the worse present opener anyway. I can never find that right mix between pleasantly surprised and so surprised that it probably looks like I’m faking it. 

17. What my family thinks about my decisions. Oh, I’m sorry, did me deciding to take a year off college personally affect you, Aunt I’ve-Only-Seen-You-Five-Times-In-My-Life?

18. That one thing I did in elementary school that was really embarrassing. If I can’t remember any embarrassing thing anyone else did, they won’t remember what I did either. 

19. Trying to decide which political/religious group I side with. They all suck in their own ways.

20. Pretending to not be obsessed book just because it’s popular. That just means there are a lot of people with really great taste in books.

21. Trying to be vegan/vegetarian. Yes I love animals, but I also love bacon. 

22. Putting on “real” clothes. Yes, these are the same pajamas I wore two nights ago. No, I haven’t changed out of them. No, I don’t see the problem here. 

23. Not having an exciting social life. Anyone willing to sit on the couch and watch a 90’s TV show marathon is a friend of mine. 

24. Wondering what will happen in the next year. I just want to sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. TC mark

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