Loving him has been turbulent. One minute he was mine, the next minute into infinity he was not. By that I mean I am very sure we will never be one with each other again, at least not in the way I pray for at night. When I rock back and forth into myself in my bed, I wish for him next to me, comforting me. When I hear a joke, I find myself in another world where he is the one making me laugh.
I thought I was stronger than this, yet here I am years later, crying over the last taste of him on my tongue. I am pushing and pulling with my emotions, and I have no solid ground to stand on.
This is just the tip of the iceberg when you love someone who unfortunately does not love you back. You know what it means when they look at you, and it is not what you want it to mean. However, that does not make your love instantaneously disappear.
It is okay to love someone who does not love you back. It’s okay. You have full permission to leave the window of hope opened a crack in case their love floats in with the breeze.
But slowly, piece by piece, they will undo your love. Your love is too beautiful and too strong for a person who does not know its true value. With every unloving touch they graze upon your skin, you will begin to realize that you are better than what they have given.
So love them, it’s okay. Just remember one day that may change. They will either open their eyes to the realization that you are just what they need or they won’t. If they don’t, you will flow elsewhere. You’ll be cast along the shore with the newfound grace of a tomorrow. A tomorrow without them. If those words hurt you today, have faith, because your future is bright, and no matter who you end up with, you will be more than alright.
As for me? I still love him. With every fiber of my being, I love him. But I will let the universe decide what is best for me. If he is not in the cards, I won’t start a new deck. I will take my hand and play.
I want you, as you’re reading this right now, to barter with the universe, not just for your own happiness, but for the happiness of the person you love. Remember: happiness may not always be you, but if you truly love them, you want them to be happy. So pray, send vibes, whatever you may do. Just believe that it is all going to work out for the two of you, whether you meld together as one or you twist off onto separate paths. That is how you move on in this world.