When you look back on the years spent waiting on a person, you realize only what you have lost in that amount of time. Even as relationships came and passed, you were always holding onto the emotional aspect of them. It was that tiny tinge inside you that pressed hope into your lungs.
When I met my “them”, I loved them right away. I never thought much of love at first sight until it happened to me. I wanted to ride that wave until the day I died, but as luck would have it, I couldn’t do such a thing. I mean, I could, but where would that leave me? Where would we all be if we forever held onto the one that got away?
I tried my hardest to hold onto that person, but with those harsh waves crashing over my head, I could not swim and soon enough I was not holding onto them—I was drowning.
Instead of fighting the waves, I learned to ride with them, let them carry me where they may. Although slowly but surely, they are moving me farther and farther from my person, I am finally seeing the shore I was cast so far away from, so long ago.
I have let go now a thousand times, yet I always wash up next to them. Through my round eyes, I will always be searching for the good in this person, and it is undoubtedly there. That is not enough. Goodness is not enough of a reason to stay where you are not wanted.
I know now to accept that I won’t always get what I want. Rather, I will get what I deserve. So I continue to be a good person, that way I can let karma envelop me in the most beautiful way possible.
When I thought that loving them was my only way to happiness, I was slowly killing myself. To forget that person hurts, but when they’re gone you’re liberated. I have come to terms with the fact that they are not my happy ending. No sunny day in June will I ever walk down the aisle to them, and that’s okay. One person is not the be all, end all of your life.
My happy ending is out there, and I will remind myself that with every small victory in my life. Happy endings do not always need to be romantic, they can be whatever you so choose. You are in control of your happiness and the outcome of your life. No other person can dictate that.