The Art Of Actually Healing

Time heals all wounds.

It’s true.

But how long does time take? I used to think that I would heal after a certain amount of time. That’s just not the case in life.

Healing doesn’t have a timeline. I believe healing happens in ways we don’t understand. Some days could feel like you’re on top of the world and the past is behind you while others almost feel like there is no future ahead. Most of the time we don’t feel like we are healing, but we are, little by little every day.

Healing is hard. Some days the “why’s” will destroy you and you will be desperate for answers that don’t exist. Other days you will backslide back to the beginning and it will feel like there’s been no progress. Even on the days you feel like the current is going against you and you feel like you’re drowning, know that you aren’t.

Healing isn’t simple. You don’t put a check mark next to a list. It’s not a straight line or black and white. It’s a roller coaster, it goes up and down. Healing isn’t beautiful and poetic. It’s messy and can get ugly. It can be breaking and sharp-edged painful.

But there are also those moments when you free and hopeful, even when you thought you had no hope left. On the good days, you will notice the people who love you and fight for you. You will feel supported and so so loved; and healing won’t feel so far away, because it’s happening now. Those are the moment you must hold on to. For those are the moment that ease the pain a bit from healing.

It takes time.

It happens in the ways we don’t expect. Healing happens when you are taking a walk all alone, all by yourself, and you remember everything that is missing, everything that hurts, and you feel so much at once that you can barely catch your breath. Like a stabbing in your chest, it all hits you at once. Your body feels heavy. Your mind and your heart hurt. Healing is pain, but it’s also triumph.

Healing happens over time and it cannot be rushed. It’s delicate and private. Healing is an everyday process. You have to be patient with yourself and push yourself to be brave enough to heal.

The truth is, you will always have a scar, but that scar will be a reminder of your survival. You will look at it and think, “I made it.” The scar will be proof of how gracefully you healed.

Healing is not easy, it will happen, despite the trials, healing will come, and you will be okay.