You Don’t Need To Change Who You Are To Make A Relationship Work

In love, there is compromise. In love, there is understanding. In love, there is a common ground where we learn to accept the other. We swallow our pride to avoid arguments. We stay mute at times to avoid the bickering and the nagging.

We may even do something we don’t like – see a movie we never thought we’d watch, eat something our palate doesn’t appreciate, try dancing, go hiking, master a sport or even learn a new language. And through the course of what we call “building a relationship” we either find ourselves becoming better or questioning whether or not we made the right choices.

One thing that we ought to remind ourselves more when getting into a relationship is this: Do not lose yourself in the process of falling in love.

Sometimes, comprises we make takes out a piece of ourselves and it just gets lost in the wind, and that part – that part we may never get back forever. Sometimes, we furnish a new identity to match our significant other; but, how much are we really willing to lose in order to gain love? Should we actually lose anything at all for us to be loved? What really is compromise? How much do you have to understand someone for them to also understand you?

The thing is sometimes we are so caught up with the idea of love, the idea of someone that we fail to see how much we actually have to work in order for it to be real. Some take the easy route with love. They just take out all the bad parts – parts they think their partners would not want – and replace it with something they believe their partners would love. Like taking out the seeds in a fruit – leaving it as it is and removing any opportunity for growth.

Others, on the other hand, go through the struggle by learning to love themselves first, by knowing what they love about themselves and letting their partners love it too.

Some people gather up the courage to show who they truly are.They put their true selves in line because they believe that their partner does not deserve anything less than who they really are. They refuse to erase something they already love about themselves just so they can be loved.

Who would you rather be then? Someone who can claim that he/she has sacrificed everything even themselves for the sake of love? Or someone who refuse to put shame on who she/she truly is and accepts only the love their genuine selves deserve?

As for me, I’d rather be the latter.

Remember, that it will always be constant tug of war between “you” and “you in a relationship” if true love doesn’t work on both ends. It will be a continuous push and pull over who you really are and who you think you should be. And this, this can go on forever. It can take years and years from you.

So, wouldn’t it be better to just love and be loved without actually getting tired?

Yes, a hundred times yes.