After listening to hundreds of people complain about their relationships, it occurred to me that many of these complaints could be narrowed down to the five most detrimental traits. See if you practice any of these:
Being indifferent to what happens in a relationship where you are there in body only offers nothing to the growth or success of your relationship. You might as well be a lamp sitting on a corner table. This lack of energy on your part leads your partner to believe that whatever they do won’t be important to you. Taking your partner for granted shows a total disrespect for the other person. Why should they stay in a relationship when you appear to care less whether they stay or not?
This is a guaranteed misery creator. This attitude is prevalent when one party believes it is superior to the other party. Believing that you are better than your partner is generally obvious to your partner as well as anyone who comes into contact with you. Is it any wonder that your partner will look for a person who believes he/she is terrific and not an embarrassment to your haughty magnificence?
The normal nature of people is to avoid pain–physical or mental–and to avoid those people who inflict it. If you are verbally degrading to your partner or physically mean to people you are supposed to love, is it any wonder that they leave you to find someone who won’t hurt them? If you are so cruel to others, perhaps it is best that they leave you and allow you to find someone who doesn’t bring out the worst in you.
Neglecting another person is an admission that their existence is completely unimportant to you. This differs from complacency in that complacency is simply a lack of enthusiasm, where neglect is a lack of concern. Whether you are neglecting your partner, your children, your parents, or your friends, you are stating that you don’t care what happens to them and won’t step up to improve their lives. Why would anyone want a friend, a parent, or a partner with this attitude?
No relationship can survive for long without trust. Deception, lies or simple evasion can, over time, destroy the sense of partnership you have with another. Being in a relationship implies that you have each other’s back. If your behavior gives your partner a sense of doubt that you’ll be there for them, they may go in search of someone they can count on.
If you are exhibiting any of these attitudes, perhaps you should take a close look into your reasons for wanting a relationship. You might be with the wrong partner or perhaps you don’t need any partner at this particular time. Keep in mind that relationships require energy, concern, honesty and a generally good spirit if you have any hope of succeeding.